Thanks for the feedback! I gave it another pass. Is there anything concrete that threw you off or still does? I’d appreciate pointers as I had other people look at it before.
Here are few minor things I think you could modify for clarity:
Replace ‘The sentence that made me think it’s worth writing up a reaction was:’ with ‘From the article:‘
Also, you repeat yourself at the end. The last two one-sentence paragraphs could just be one paragraph that says:
‘Given the entrepreneurial slant of EA culture, I worry that some people will end up concluding “we should celebrate risk-taking even more than we already do”. Isn’t dangerous career advice for the average EA?’
Thanks for the feedback! I gave it another pass. Is there anything concrete that threw you off or still does? I’d appreciate pointers as I had other people look at it before.
Here are few minor things I think you could modify for clarity:
Replace ‘The sentence that made me think it’s worth writing up a reaction was:’ with ‘From the article:‘
Also, you repeat yourself at the end. The last two one-sentence paragraphs could just be one paragraph that says:
‘Given the entrepreneurial slant of EA culture, I worry that some people will end up concluding “we should celebrate risk-taking even more than we already do”. Isn’t dangerous career advice for the average EA?’