This is an interesting idea and I’d be in favour of at least some version of it.
A distinction I think about often is: who is initiating? Where there is a power dynamic, it seems more risky if the more powerful person initiates romance, and less risky if the less-powerful person does and the more-powerful one just reciprocates. So I might be in favour of versions of these rules which say ‘the more-powerful person shouldn’t initiate for X time (maybe never, in cases where the power relationship is particularly pronounced), but if the less-powerful person initiates, they may reciprocate’.
There are some complications here: e.g., maybe it would encourage more-powerful people to kind of ‘fish’ for interest from the other. But still: ‘this powerful person is into me and is sort-of flirting with me, but in a plausibly-deniable way I can ignore’ seems a lot better than ‘this powerful person asked me out and now I have to turn them down’.
Fwiw, I don’t viscerally feel like there’s a strong power dynamic between me and my local community builders—or at least, no more than the dynamic between me and other people who have more general ‘EA community status’ than me (e.g., people who work at 80k). I don’t think I’d find being hit on by a community builder massively fraught. I’m not claiming that others should or do feel this way—just adding my data point.
Yup, “don’t hit on people who don’t hit on me first.” is a weaker rule I already decided to adhere to in EA before I started thinking about the one outlined in this post. Independent of power, it just seems utterly necessary to manage the gender imbalance.
This is an interesting idea and I’d be in favour of at least some version of it.
A distinction I think about often is: who is initiating? Where there is a power dynamic, it seems more risky if the more powerful person initiates romance, and less risky if the less-powerful person does and the more-powerful one just reciprocates. So I might be in favour of versions of these rules which say ‘the more-powerful person shouldn’t initiate for X time (maybe never, in cases where the power relationship is particularly pronounced), but if the less-powerful person initiates, they may reciprocate’.
There are some complications here: e.g., maybe it would encourage more-powerful people to kind of ‘fish’ for interest from the other. But still: ‘this powerful person is into me and is sort-of flirting with me, but in a plausibly-deniable way I can ignore’ seems a lot better than ‘this powerful person asked me out and now I have to turn them down’.
Fwiw, I don’t viscerally feel like there’s a strong power dynamic between me and my local community builders—or at least, no more than the dynamic between me and other people who have more general ‘EA community status’ than me (e.g., people who work at 80k). I don’t think I’d find being hit on by a community builder massively fraught. I’m not claiming that others should or do feel this way—just adding my data point.
Yup, “don’t hit on people who don’t hit on me first.” is a weaker rule I already decided to adhere to in EA before I started thinking about the one outlined in this post. Independent of power, it just seems utterly necessary to manage the gender imbalance.