Riffing off of the alliance mindset point, one shift I’ve personally found really helpful (though I could imagine it backfiring for other people) in decision-making settings is switching from thinking “my job is to come up with the right proposal or decision” to “my job is to integrate the evidence I’ve observed (firsthand, secondhand, etc.) and reason about it as clearly and well as I’m able”.
The first framing made me feel like I was failing if other people contributed; I was “supposed” to get to the best decision, but instead I came to the wrong one that needed to be, humiliatingly, “fixed”. The frame is more individualistic, and has more of a sense of some final responsibility that increases emotional heat and isn’t explained just by bayesian reasoning.
The latter frame evokes thoughts like “of course, what I’m able to observe and think of is only a small piece of the puzzle, of course others have lots of value of add” and shifts my experience of changing decisions from embarrassing or a sign of failure to natural and inevitable, and my orientation towards others from defensiveness to curiosity and eagerness to elicit their knowledge. And it shifts my orientation towards myself from a stakesy attempt to squeeze out an excellent product via the sheer force of emotional energy, to something more reflective, internally quiet, and focused on the outer world, not what my proposals will say about me.
I could imagine this causing people to go easy on themselves or try less hard, but for me it’s been really helpful.
Riffing off of the alliance mindset point, one shift I’ve personally found really helpful (though I could imagine it backfiring for other people) in decision-making settings is switching from thinking “my job is to come up with the right proposal or decision” to “my job is to integrate the evidence I’ve observed (firsthand, secondhand, etc.) and reason about it as clearly and well as I’m able”.
The first framing made me feel like I was failing if other people contributed; I was “supposed” to get to the best decision, but instead I came to the wrong one that needed to be, humiliatingly, “fixed”. The frame is more individualistic, and has more of a sense of some final responsibility that increases emotional heat and isn’t explained just by bayesian reasoning.
The latter frame evokes thoughts like “of course, what I’m able to observe and think of is only a small piece of the puzzle, of course others have lots of value of add” and shifts my experience of changing decisions from embarrassing or a sign of failure to natural and inevitable, and my orientation towards others from defensiveness to curiosity and eagerness to elicit their knowledge. And it shifts my orientation towards myself from a stakesy attempt to squeeze out an excellent product via the sheer force of emotional energy, to something more reflective, internally quiet, and focused on the outer world, not what my proposals will say about me.
I could imagine this causing people to go easy on themselves or try less hard, but for me it’s been really helpful.