Check out the book âhow to have impossible conversationsâ. It has some really great thoughts on creating spaces where you help the other person make their own journey rather than trying (and failing) to do it for them.
Also, the inner critic is very real, especially in our hyper competitive, achievement oriented, production/âconsumption culture. There is another way to hold oneself and others in a light, nonjudgmental way. But from experience it takes a lot of emotional and spiritual work with a trustworthy, compassionate coach/âcounselor/âmentor. This story illustrates the depth of our societal divide:
In a meeting between the Dalai Lama and a group of American psychologists in 1990, one of the psychologists brought up the concept of negative self-talk. Since there are no words in Tibetan that translate into low self-esteem and self-loathing, it took quite a long time for the psychologists to convey what they meant. But this wasnât a translation problem. It was a problem of conceptualization. Self-loathing? People do that? The Dalai Lama was incredulous. Once the Dalai Lama understood what they were saying, he turned to the Tibetan monks in the room, and after explaining what the psychologists were suggesting, he asked, âHow many of you have experienced this low-self esteem, self-contempt or self-loathing?â
Complete silence.
Here was a psychological state of mind so ubiquitous in our culture that everyone experiences it from time to time, if not every single day. Yet the Tibetansâtrained since childhood in the art of a mental exercise they call meditationâacted like they were being told about some alien life form. The Dalai Lama turned back to the psychologists and asked a simple question: âWhy would you ever let your mind get like this?â
Check out the book âhow to have impossible conversationsâ. It has some really great thoughts on creating spaces where you help the other person make their own journey rather than trying (and failing) to do it for them.
Also, the inner critic is very real, especially in our hyper competitive, achievement oriented, production/âconsumption culture. There is another way to hold oneself and others in a light, nonjudgmental way. But from experience it takes a lot of emotional and spiritual work with a trustworthy, compassionate coach/âcounselor/âmentor. This story illustrates the depth of our societal divide:
In a meeting between the Dalai Lama and a group of American psychologists in 1990, one of the psychologists brought up the concept of negative self-talk. Since there are no words in Tibetan that translate into low self-esteem and self-loathing, it took quite a long time for the psychologists to convey what they meant. But this wasnât a translation problem. It was a problem of conceptualization. Self-loathing? People do that? The Dalai Lama was incredulous. Once the Dalai Lama understood what they were saying, he turned to the Tibetan monks in the room, and after explaining what the psychologists were suggesting, he asked, âHow many of you have experienced this low-self esteem, self-contempt or self-loathing?â
Complete silence.
Here was a psychological state of mind so ubiquitous in our culture that everyone experiences it from time to time, if not every single day. Yet the Tibetansâtrained since childhood in the art of a mental exercise they call meditationâacted like they were being told about some alien life form. The Dalai Lama turned back to the psychologists and asked a simple question: âWhy would you ever let your mind get like this?â
Excerpt from The Awakened Ape