This is repeating some of what’s already been said, but I worry that this is targeting the wrong thing.
I do believe that lots of the abusers or boundary-pushers in EA probably justified their behaviour by just saying they were ‘weird’ or ‘high-openness’ or ‘high decoupling’ or whatever. But I think behaving like this involves not just weirdness, but also other traits—at the less serious end, lack of social skills and empathy (and just good-old fashioned lack of feminist consciousness), and at the more serious end, manipulativeness and being an asshole. Like, I’m weird but I know that you probably shouldn’t invite your coworkers to sex parties, because I’ve managed to absorb the general world knowledge that ‘lots of people are weird about sex and consider it private and stuff so you probably should be a bit circumspect about the contexts and ways in which you mention it’.
This is repeating some of what’s already been said, but I worry that this is targeting the wrong thing.
I do believe that lots of the abusers or boundary-pushers in EA probably justified their behaviour by just saying they were ‘weird’ or ‘high-openness’ or ‘high decoupling’ or whatever. But I think behaving like this involves not just weirdness, but also other traits—at the less serious end, lack of social skills and empathy (and just good-old fashioned lack of feminist consciousness), and at the more serious end, manipulativeness and being an asshole. Like, I’m weird but I know that you probably shouldn’t invite your coworkers to sex parties, because I’ve managed to absorb the general world knowledge that ‘lots of people are weird about sex and consider it private and stuff so you probably should be a bit circumspect about the contexts and ways in which you mention it’.