As a person with an autism (at the time âaspergerâsâ) diagnosis from childhood, I think this is very tricky territory. I agree that autistics are almost certainly more likely to make innocent-but-harmful mistakes in this context. But Iâm a bit worried about overcorrection for that for a few reasons:
Firstly, men in general (and presumably women to some degree also), autistic or otherwise are already incredibly good at self-deception about the actions they take to get sex (source: basic commonsense). So giving a particular subset of us more of an excuse to think âI didnât realize I would upset herâ, when the actual facts are more âI did know there was a significant risk, but I couldnât resist because I really wanted to have sex with herâ, seems a bit fraught. I think this is different from the sort of predatory, unrepentant narcissism that Jonas Vollmer says we shouldnât ascribe to Owen: itâs a kind of self-deception perfectly compatible with genuine guilt at your own bad behavior and certainly with being a kind and nice person overall. I actually think the feminism-associated* meme about sexual bad behavior being always really about misogyny or dominance can sometimes obscure this for people a bit.
Secondly, I worry that people who are both autistic or at least autistic-coded and predatory can take advantage of a perception that their bad behavior is always a mistake and not deliberate. I strongly suspect SBF, though he is not a diagnosed autistic, deliberately exploited a perception that ânerdsâ are not socially savvy enough to engage in deliberate deception.
Thirdly, Iâm worried about being patronized.
Fourthly, Iâm worried that if the association between âautisticâ and (even accidental) âsexual misconduct riskâ becomes too strong in peopleâs heads, this will actually lead to overcorrection in the other way, with people becoming too reluctant to hire autistics. (Probably not an issue in EA to the degree it would be in less autistic communities though.) We donât actually know how much more likely autistics are to behave badly in which particular ways.
Alas 4 and 1 kind of point in opposite directions.
*My guess is that feminists whoâve actually written carefully and at length about sexual bad behaviour have more nuanced views than this, and often when they cite âmisogynyâ as an explanation, they mean something structural, not something in the psychology of people who behave badly.)
As a person with an autism (at the time âaspergerâsâ) diagnosis from childhood, I think this is very tricky territory. I agree that autistics are almost certainly more likely to make innocent-but-harmful mistakes in this context. But Iâm a bit worried about overcorrection for that for a few reasons:
Firstly, men in general (and presumably women to some degree also), autistic or otherwise are already incredibly good at self-deception about the actions they take to get sex (source: basic commonsense). So giving a particular subset of us more of an excuse to think âI didnât realize I would upset herâ, when the actual facts are more âI did know there was a significant risk, but I couldnât resist because I really wanted to have sex with herâ, seems a bit fraught. I think this is different from the sort of predatory, unrepentant narcissism that Jonas Vollmer says we shouldnât ascribe to Owen: itâs a kind of self-deception perfectly compatible with genuine guilt at your own bad behavior and certainly with being a kind and nice person overall. I actually think the feminism-associated* meme about sexual bad behavior being always really about misogyny or dominance can sometimes obscure this for people a bit.
Secondly, I worry that people who are both autistic or at least autistic-coded and predatory can take advantage of a perception that their bad behavior is always a mistake and not deliberate. I strongly suspect SBF, though he is not a diagnosed autistic, deliberately exploited a perception that ânerdsâ are not socially savvy enough to engage in deliberate deception.
Thirdly, Iâm worried about being patronized.
Fourthly, Iâm worried that if the association between âautisticâ and (even accidental) âsexual misconduct riskâ becomes too strong in peopleâs heads, this will actually lead to overcorrection in the other way, with people becoming too reluctant to hire autistics. (Probably not an issue in EA to the degree it would be in less autistic communities though.) We donât actually know how much more likely autistics are to behave badly in which particular ways.
Alas 4 and 1 kind of point in opposite directions.
*My guess is that feminists whoâve actually written carefully and at length about sexual bad behaviour have more nuanced views than this, and often when they cite âmisogynyâ as an explanation, they mean something structural, not something in the psychology of people who behave badly.)
Yeah, I think thereâs a lot more to be said about this topic, and Iâm glad that your said some of itâthanks!