“If the two members of a couple have different feelings over how much to donate, it may be most effective to sit down and figure out a rule beforehand that represents a reasonable compromise for both sides, rather than try to negotiate the boundary every year.”
I definitely agree this is a benefit of a predetermined rule! However, I’d go further—if different parts of your own mind have different views on how much to donate, it can be more effective to negotiate a rule that works as a compromise.
There’s a part of me that feels like I shouldn’t be donating to charity until I’ve paid my student loans and saved a good amount of money. There’s another part of me that thinks I should give as much as I can as soon as I can—I shouldn’t even buy myself little luxuries like ice cream. I can make good arguments for both sides, and both feel true (and demotivating).
I can satisfy both sides by donating 10%, which still leaves enough to pay off my student loans, save for the future, and buy ice cream, but allows me to help people now and not feel like I’m wasting my life on trivialities like building a positive net worth. ;)
Renegotiating this donating rule can be tense, so I probably won’t change it until something significant changes in my substantial situation (like when I actually do have a positive net worth!).
“If the two members of a couple have different feelings over how much to donate, it may be most effective to sit down and figure out a rule beforehand that represents a reasonable compromise for both sides, rather than try to negotiate the boundary every year.”
I definitely agree this is a benefit of a predetermined rule! However, I’d go further—if different parts of your own mind have different views on how much to donate, it can be more effective to negotiate a rule that works as a compromise.
There’s a part of me that feels like I shouldn’t be donating to charity until I’ve paid my student loans and saved a good amount of money. There’s another part of me that thinks I should give as much as I can as soon as I can—I shouldn’t even buy myself little luxuries like ice cream. I can make good arguments for both sides, and both feel true (and demotivating).
I can satisfy both sides by donating 10%, which still leaves enough to pay off my student loans, save for the future, and buy ice cream, but allows me to help people now and not feel like I’m wasting my life on trivialities like building a positive net worth. ;)
Renegotiating this donating rule can be tense, so I probably won’t change it until something significant changes in my substantial situation (like when I actually do have a positive net worth!).