Here’s an explanation of why I wouldn’t characterize it that way.
But it seems that you’re not sure if unwanted pregnancies are a bad thing.
I think it’s a more nuanced discussion than most give it credit for! On the one hand, pregnancy exerts a substantial cost on a woman, especially when it’s unwanted. On the other hand, the child stands to live or lose an entire life’s worth of hopes, joys, pains, and regrets. In an unwanted pregnancy, someone’s going to have a sad outcome either way—even when giving the child up for adoption, the mother mourns the child she’ll never be able to raise. The “Personal Autonomy Shouldn’t Preclude Intervention” section summarizes my thoughts.
I would like to see much more discussion on how the burden of having kids could be spread better over more people (not just mothers but fathers, grandparents, professional caregivers) and also society generally.
On your point, I couldn’t agree more, and that’s why I include both of your links in the “In Our Personal Lives” section. On having more discussion of spreading the cost of children over more people than just the mother, my weakness of not yet being a parent comes through—I’ve always felt unqualified to talk about it! I’d love to listen to and understand more about your lived experience as a mother.
Hi Ruth, great to hear from you!
Here’s an explanation of why I wouldn’t characterize it that way.
I think it’s a more nuanced discussion than most give it credit for! On the one hand, pregnancy exerts a substantial cost on a woman, especially when it’s unwanted. On the other hand, the child stands to live or lose an entire life’s worth of hopes, joys, pains, and regrets. In an unwanted pregnancy, someone’s going to have a sad outcome either way—even when giving the child up for adoption, the mother mourns the child she’ll never be able to raise. The “Personal Autonomy Shouldn’t Preclude Intervention” section summarizes my thoughts.
On your point, I couldn’t agree more, and that’s why I include both of your links in the “In Our Personal Lives” section. On having more discussion of spreading the cost of children over more people than just the mother, my weakness of not yet being a parent comes through—I’ve always felt unqualified to talk about it! I’d love to listen to and understand more about your lived experience as a mother.