I agree with @Lorenzo Buonanno that people in EA culture should think I addressed it pretty poorly. I think that myself now, and knew that it was far from ideal at the time.
My explanation here (not excuse) is that I don’t always have the energy to call things out in the best way. In those cases it’s often best to stay quiet but not always. In this case I honestly did not expect anyone would do the calling out instead? Yet I messed up egregiously. I just find it so incredibly draining to face the fact that people disrespect EA that much and that casually. It really breaks me tbh thinking it’s that far gone, unjustly I’d say, so I fight against that reality. Sometimes I do think “it is so pointless, we will never stem the flow of incorrect misleading criticism” even if I don’t really think that, I feel that. So anger is what helped me get over that feeling to write a clapback I thought was worth trying.
I wish I could trust that others would also call out bad behavior and make it clear that EAs deserve respect as much as anyone. But I think what I expect more from EAs is ignoring disrespect, explaining it, steelmanning it, or politely requesting for better (which like, we are talking about a proven-rude person here so they can just brush that right off their shoulders?).
I am very sorry for writing it as harshly worded as I did though. This was a particularly egregious fuckup of mine and I want to do better. FWIW I considered deleting the comment yesterday but kinda thought that would be epistemically dishonest or something, as I didn’t want to retract the whole thing, but again I didnt have the energy to fix it. Now I will try to fix it with liberal strikethroughs
Thank you for noting this.
I agree with @Lorenzo Buonanno that people in EA culture should think I addressed it pretty poorly. I think that myself now, and knew that it was far from ideal at the time.
My explanation here (not excuse) is that I don’t always have the energy to call things out in the best way. In those cases it’s often best to stay quiet but not always. In this case I honestly did not expect anyone would do the calling out instead? Yet I messed up egregiously. I just find it so incredibly draining to face the fact that people disrespect EA that much and that casually. It really breaks me tbh thinking it’s that far gone, unjustly I’d say, so I fight against that reality. Sometimes I do think “it is so pointless, we will never stem the flow of incorrect misleading criticism” even if I don’t really think that, I feel that. So anger is what helped me get over that feeling to write a clapback I thought was worth trying.
I wish I could trust that others would also call out bad behavior and make it clear that EAs deserve respect as much as anyone. But I think what I expect more from EAs is ignoring disrespect, explaining it, steelmanning it, or politely requesting for better (which like, we are talking about a proven-rude person here so they can just brush that right off their shoulders?).
I am very sorry for writing it as harshly worded as I did though. This was a particularly egregious fuckup of mine and I want to do better. FWIW I considered deleting the comment yesterday but kinda thought that would be epistemically dishonest or something, as I didn’t want to retract the whole thing, but again I didnt have the energy to fix it. Now I will try to fix it with liberal
strikethroughs