In late summer 2023, I realized my mental health was the biggest barrier to achieving my goals. Over the next six months, I made it a priority, working with a therapist on CBT, adjusting medication timing, and developing healthier habits (like meditating and wellness routines). This resulted in a noticeable improvement in my clarity, productivity, and overall well-being, which positively impacted my work and leadership.
This post is part of an effort to post more :)
Background and Context
Late summer 2023: During a performance review, I realized my mental health was my biggest barrier to growth.
I had been diagnosed with depression years earlier and medication helped significantly, but I was still having breakthrough symptoms.
It was preventing me from achieving ambitious goals and handling important work decisions (like what my team should prioritize in the following quarter)
I made improving mental health a top priority in my personal development.
Early 2024: By my next performance review, my mental health had significantly improved.
People around me, (such as my direct report and husband), noticed the difference in my mood and decision-making.
My affect in meetings is better, and I am overall less reactive and more stable.
Nuance and Disclaimer
Still a work in progress: I have a long way to go in terms of mental health (and can still grow a lot in the things it affects like productivity and decision-making)
Just one example: I know many people have done better jobs improving their mental health and are much more productive and stable than I am. I am mostly just writing this as one case study of many.
Not universally applicable: Standard: what worked for me won’t work for everyone
Why I’m writing: I’m sharing this as an example of someone who’s made some progress, hoping it might resonate with others in a similar situation.
Some ways progress has affected my work
Fewer doom spirals:
I used to get caught in weekly (sometimes more) emotional breakdowns and thought spirals, which would take me out of action for hours.
These spirals would make me feel like I wasn’t doing well enough, wasting time, and letting people down (which in turn made it worse!)
Now, they’re much less frequent, less than once a month and when they happen, they are shorter/less severe
I have much more clarity when making decisions, and I’m not as overwhelmed by emotions.
Increased productivity:
I’m getting more done and feel less self-doubt.
I’m able to focus more on the work in front of me and consistently crank out productive days.
Leadership impact:
The improvements in my mental health have made me a better leader— I approach situations with more calm and focus.
I feel more capable of handling the responsibilities I have, which is critical when leading a team and making strategic decisions.
What Made a Difference (in my rough guess at level of influence)
There are a lot of other things as well! But these are the most notable:
Therapy (with the right therapist)
I tried therapy in the past, but it was a negative experience, often leaving me feeling worse and made me hesitate from trying it again for years Despite my hesitation, I gave it another shot, using the EA Mental Health Navigator to find a therapist who practiced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
I specifically wanted CBT because of its evidence base and effectiveness for people like me.
This therapist was incredibly helpful in identifying patterns of problematic thinking, reframing them, and suggesting practical actions I could take to help when I felt low (like making a “feel good” song playlist)
We worked on finding inconsistencies in my thoughts, reframing negative beliefs, and applying more productive ways of thinking. (The standard CBT stuff)
We really clicked, and I always left meetings with action points and feeling optimist/excited/much better
When I moved, I could no longer meet with her and have yet to recreate this.
I have tried ~4 or 5 different therapists since then and none clicked.
They were fine, but nowhere near as good—my guess is therapy relationships are very heavy-tailed.
I’m currently just using a free coaching program through my health insurance, which, while not as good, has been more effective than the other therapists I tried post-move.
Luckily, a lot of the effects continued and I am able to use the CBT tools I learned on my own (and with the help of books like Feeling Great)
Changing the time of taking medication
I switched from taking antidepressants in the morning to taking them at night.
This made mornings much easier, significantly improving my energy levels and set my days off to a good start.
And also has allowed me to become a morning person!
Unfortunately, this one is probably the least generalizable but had a big affect on me
But it’s possible, it’s worth talking to doctors about options like this
Meditation and Habit Tracking
I started meditating regularly and added it as a tracked goal in my weekly agenda with my manager. (I found the intro sequence to 10% happier really helpful)
I was asked, “Did you meditate four out of five weeknights this week?” which kept me motivated to keep up the habit.
For a period right after that performance review, I tracked my habits very rigorously:
Meditation, exercise, and other routines were strictly monitored weekly.
My manager held me accountable, giving feedback if I missed my targets, which helped me stay disciplined.
I tried making a Wellness Tracker to find correlations between sleep, exercise, and productivity and didn’t find much out.
When I stopped meditating for a period in the summer, I noticed a clear difference.
My control over my thoughts weakened, and the thought spirals and emotional overwhelm became more frequent again.
Regular meditation allows me to focus better and manage emotional responses more effectively.
The 80,000 Hours Podcast has some really nice mental health episodes (example)
I especially enjoyed the episodes on 80k After Hours, like the one on free will, which helped me embrace the idea that I can’t control everything.
Physical Routines
Exercise
It was super important to find a routine that was fun and enjoyable.
For me, this is specific workout classes with really good fun music and getting involved in social sports (ie: by joining a social/beginner recc league or attending meetup group events)
I also have in my weekly check-ins “did you workout >3 times this week”?
Physical activity, especially when combined with a social element, is especially helpful for maintaining energy and positive affect
Sleep:
I have always enjoyed sleeping, typically my issue was sleeping too much instead of too litte
I became strict about my daily routines, trying to wake up within 30min of the same time every day, even on vacations (but taking more naps on those vacations).
I am a lot worse on weekends and sometimes shift later but will schedule in obligations/workout classes as a way of forcing myself to get up after a reasonable number of hours of sleep.
Final Thoughts
In six months, I went from frequent emotional breakdowns and decision paralysis to a place of more clarity, confidence, and emotional stability.
This journey isn’t finished, but the changes I’ve made have had a profound impact on both my work and personal life and my guess is that other people can achieve that too :)
How I Improved my Wellbeing
TL;DR
In late summer 2023, I realized my mental health was the biggest barrier to achieving my goals. Over the next six months, I made it a priority, working with a therapist on CBT, adjusting medication timing, and developing healthier habits (like meditating and wellness routines). This resulted in a noticeable improvement in my clarity, productivity, and overall well-being, which positively impacted my work and leadership.
This post is part of an effort to post more :)
Background and Context
Late summer 2023: During a performance review, I realized my mental health was my biggest barrier to growth.
I had been diagnosed with depression years earlier and medication helped significantly, but I was still having breakthrough symptoms.
It was preventing me from achieving ambitious goals and handling important work decisions (like what my team should prioritize in the following quarter)
I made improving mental health a top priority in my personal development.
Early 2024: By my next performance review, my mental health had significantly improved.
People around me, (such as my direct report and husband), noticed the difference in my mood and decision-making.
My affect in meetings is better, and I am overall less reactive and more stable.
Nuance and Disclaimer
Still a work in progress: I have a long way to go in terms of mental health (and can still grow a lot in the things it affects like productivity and decision-making)
Just one example: I know many people have done better jobs improving their mental health and are much more productive and stable than I am. I am mostly just writing this as one case study of many.
Not universally applicable: Standard: what worked for me won’t work for everyone
Why I’m writing: I’m sharing this as an example of someone who’s made some progress, hoping it might resonate with others in a similar situation.
Some ways progress has affected my work
Fewer doom spirals:
I used to get caught in weekly (sometimes more) emotional breakdowns and thought spirals, which would take me out of action for hours.
These spirals would make me feel like I wasn’t doing well enough, wasting time, and letting people down (which in turn made it worse!)
Now, they’re much less frequent, less than once a month and when they happen, they are shorter/less severe
I have much more clarity when making decisions, and I’m not as overwhelmed by emotions.
Increased productivity:
I’m getting more done and feel less self-doubt.
I’m able to focus more on the work in front of me and consistently crank out productive days.
Leadership impact:
The improvements in my mental health have made me a better leader— I approach situations with more calm and focus.
I feel more capable of handling the responsibilities I have, which is critical when leading a team and making strategic decisions.
What Made a Difference (in my rough guess at level of influence)
There are a lot of other things as well! But these are the most notable:
Therapy (with the right therapist)
I tried therapy in the past, but it was a negative experience, often leaving me feeling worse and made me hesitate from trying it again for years Despite my hesitation, I gave it another shot, using the EA Mental Health Navigator to find a therapist who practiced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
I specifically wanted CBT because of its evidence base and effectiveness for people like me.
This therapist was incredibly helpful in identifying patterns of problematic thinking, reframing them, and suggesting practical actions I could take to help when I felt low (like making a “feel good” song playlist)
We worked on finding inconsistencies in my thoughts, reframing negative beliefs, and applying more productive ways of thinking. (The standard CBT stuff)
We really clicked, and I always left meetings with action points and feeling optimist/excited/much better
When I moved, I could no longer meet with her and have yet to recreate this.
I have tried ~4 or 5 different therapists since then and none clicked.
They were fine, but nowhere near as good—my guess is therapy relationships are very heavy-tailed.
I’m currently just using a free coaching program through my health insurance, which, while not as good, has been more effective than the other therapists I tried post-move.
Luckily, a lot of the effects continued and I am able to use the CBT tools I learned on my own (and with the help of books like Feeling Great)
Changing the time of taking medication
I switched from taking antidepressants in the morning to taking them at night.
This made mornings much easier, significantly improving my energy levels and set my days off to a good start.
And also has allowed me to become a morning person!
Unfortunately, this one is probably the least generalizable but had a big affect on me
But it’s possible, it’s worth talking to doctors about options like this
Meditation and Habit Tracking
I started meditating regularly and added it as a tracked goal in my weekly agenda with my manager. (I found the intro sequence to 10% happier really helpful)
I was asked, “Did you meditate four out of five weeknights this week?” which kept me motivated to keep up the habit.
For a period right after that performance review, I tracked my habits very rigorously:
Meditation, exercise, and other routines were strictly monitored weekly.
My manager held me accountable, giving feedback if I missed my targets, which helped me stay disciplined.
I tried making a Wellness Tracker to find correlations between sleep, exercise, and productivity and didn’t find much out.
When I stopped meditating for a period in the summer, I noticed a clear difference.
My control over my thoughts weakened, and the thought spirals and emotional overwhelm became more frequent again.
Regular meditation allows me to focus better and manage emotional responses more effectively.
Now I use the app “calm” instead of 10% happier.
80k podcasts on mental health
The 80,000 Hours Podcast has some really nice mental health episodes (example)
I especially enjoyed the episodes on 80k After Hours, like the one on free will, which helped me embrace the idea that I can’t control everything.
Physical Routines
Exercise
It was super important to find a routine that was fun and enjoyable.
For me, this is specific workout classes with really good fun music and getting involved in social sports (ie: by joining a social/beginner recc league or attending meetup group events)
I also have in my weekly check-ins “did you workout >3 times this week”?
Physical activity, especially when combined with a social element, is especially helpful for maintaining energy and positive affect
Sleep:
I have always enjoyed sleeping, typically my issue was sleeping too much instead of too litte
I became strict about my daily routines, trying to wake up within 30min of the same time every day, even on vacations (but taking more naps on those vacations).
I am a lot worse on weekends and sometimes shift later but will schedule in obligations/workout classes as a way of forcing myself to get up after a reasonable number of hours of sleep.
Final Thoughts
In six months, I went from frequent emotional breakdowns and decision paralysis to a place of more clarity, confidence, and emotional stability.
This journey isn’t finished, but the changes I’ve made have had a profound impact on both my work and personal life and my guess is that other people can achieve that too :)