I think this post is maybe a format that the EA Forum hasn’t done before, but this is intended to be a repository of advice that’s crowd-sourced. This is also maybe not obvious because I “seeded” it with a lot of content I thought was worth sharing (and also to make it less sad if it didn’t get many contributions – so far a few).
As I wrote:
I’ve seeded this post with a mix of advice, experience, and resources from myself and a few friends, plus various good content I found on LessWrong through the Relationships tag. The starting content is probably not the very best content possible (if it was, why make this a thread?), but I wanted to launch with something.Don’t anchor too hard on what I thought to include! Likely as better stuff is submitted, I’ll move some stuff out of the post text and into comments to keep the post from becoming absurdly long.
I also solicit disagreement:
Please disagree with advice you think is wrong! (It probably makes sense to add notes/links about differing views next to advice items in the main text, so worth the effort to call out stuff you disagree with.)
If you’re okay with it, I will add your points of disagreement into the main post.
It is definitely not comprehensive! I put this together within a few hours over the weekend, I did not aim to start off with everything that’s relevant. (Somehow still reached 10k words). If someone has good content on childbirth, pregnancy, etc., I think that would be great to add. On reflection, I’m in favor it being a behemoth and people hunting for sections relevant to them and/or later distillation.
it’s not clear to me that a lot of this is actually very good advice for a lot of people.
I agree, because giving universal advice is extremely hard. The approach I’d advise for this is for people to read it, and if it seems like a good idea for them, try it. But also “consider reversing all advice you hear”.
I’m also not sure why you linked to a list of ‘negative expectation value’ ‘infohazard’ questions that you don’t recommend people do?
Because it’s funny and fun. Note that I didn’t write the text around it. Like most of the text, it’s stuff I copied in. Also, it’s a not a major world-ending infohazard. It’s clearly marked. And as a commenter wrote on LW, it’s only an infohazard if your relationship is bad (I think his bar for good relationships is too high, but I agree that healthier relationships/people aren’t at as much risk.
And finally, most bizarrely… why is 50% of the ‘sex’ advice section a survey on what it is like to have sex with one particular guy?
Going back to how I was just seeding the crowd-sourced post with content I had, that was something I had on hand. I didn’t have other stuff and didn’t feel like going hunting for advice, but thought it’d be good if other people had things that wanted to recommend be added to that section. As I write in that section:
How to have good and healthy sex is beyond the intended scope for this thread, but I welcome people to add links to external resources here (or submit them via comments with spoiler text/warning, or the Google Form).
I agree that it’d be much better if that one link was not 50% of the list! But I actually thought it’s a helpful read for people who don’t find it TMI.
Again, thanks for taking the time to engage.
I think this post is maybe a format that the EA Forum hasn’t done before, but this is intended to be a repository of advice that’s crowd-sourced. This is also maybe not obvious because I “seeded” it with a lot of content I thought was worth sharing (and also to make it less sad if it didn’t get many contributions – so far a few).
As I wrote:
I also solicit disagreement:
If you’re okay with it, I will add your points of disagreement into the main post.
It is definitely not comprehensive! I put this together within a few hours over the weekend, I did not aim to start off with everything that’s relevant. (Somehow still reached 10k words). If someone has good content on childbirth, pregnancy, etc., I think that would be great to add. On reflection, I’m in favor it being a behemoth and people hunting for sections relevant to them and/or later distillation.
I agree, because giving universal advice is extremely hard. The approach I’d advise for this is for people to read it, and if it seems like a good idea for them, try it. But also “consider reversing all advice you hear”.
Because it’s funny and fun. Note that I didn’t write the text around it. Like most of the text, it’s stuff I copied in. Also, it’s a not a major world-ending infohazard. It’s clearly marked. And as a commenter wrote on LW, it’s only an infohazard if your relationship is bad (I think his bar for good relationships is too high, but I agree that healthier relationships/people aren’t at as much risk.
Going back to how I was just seeding the crowd-sourced post with content I had, that was something I had on hand. I didn’t have other stuff and didn’t feel like going hunting for advice, but thought it’d be good if other people had things that wanted to recommend be added to that section. As I write in that section:
I agree that it’d be much better if that one link was not 50% of the list! But I actually thought it’s a helpful read for people who don’t find it TMI.
Minor comment:
In my tiny opinion, I thought the post was fine and I strong upvoted it and I think it should remain.
Also in my tiny opinion, I also thought Lark’s comment was fine and I strong upvoted it because of content.
We are doing the learnings.