Do you think that the EA community would be safer if fewer people in it were polyamorous? - I am not going to give a moral lecture on what people should do with their sexual choices, it’s up to them.
The men who abused me were poly, the dynamics of poly are important for amplifying their harmful reach. They’re using polyamory to legitimize reaching a wider number of victims, and they’re piggybacking on EA’s compelling call for impact to meet and discover new victims.
If a poly man asks me out respectfully because they did not know I was mono, I say no and they accept my decision. No harm, no foul. This is not what happened.
If people are not respecting your no, that’s not acceptable, but I’m not really sure what their poly status has to do with it (any more than their nationality, their job, the fact that they play video games, or whatever). I don’t think poly ‘legitimizes’ reaching a wider number of victims—being willing to date multiple people doesn’t give you a right to cross others’ boundaries. I suspect that in communities less friendly to polyamory, these predators would just stay single, or cheat on their partners.
If a poly man asks me out respectfully because they did not know I was mono, I say no and they accept my decision. No harm, no foul. This is not what happened.
It sounds like your issue isn’t with polyamory in principle, but with people who don’t respect you / your boundaries? I think the EA community would be safer if there were fewer people who didn’t respect other people’s boundaries, irrespective of whether they were mono/poly.
Do you think that the EA community would be safer if fewer people in it were polyamorous? - I am not going to give a moral lecture on what people should do with their sexual choices, it’s up to them.
The men who abused me were poly, the dynamics of poly are important for amplifying their harmful reach. They’re using polyamory to legitimize reaching a wider number of victims, and they’re piggybacking on EA’s compelling call for impact to meet and discover new victims.
If a poly man asks me out respectfully because they did not know I was mono, I say no and they accept my decision. No harm, no foul. This is not what happened.
If people are not respecting your no, that’s not acceptable, but I’m not really sure what their poly status has to do with it (any more than their nationality, their job, the fact that they play video games, or whatever). I don’t think poly ‘legitimizes’ reaching a wider number of victims—being willing to date multiple people doesn’t give you a right to cross others’ boundaries. I suspect that in communities less friendly to polyamory, these predators would just stay single, or cheat on their partners.
It sounds like your issue isn’t with polyamory in principle, but with people who don’t respect you / your boundaries? I think the EA community would be safer if there were fewer people who didn’t respect other people’s boundaries, irrespective of whether they were mono/poly.
Correct. I had mentioned in my post it was not a criticism of polyamory that is practiced consensually and without conflicts of interest.