Ah I realized I actually wanted to quote this paragraph (though the one I quoted above is also spot on)
It made me angry. I felt like I’d drunk the kool-aid of some pervasive cult, one that had twisted a beautiful human desire into an internal coercion, like one for a child you’re trying to get to do chores while you’re away from home.
I felt similarly angry when I realized that my well-meaning friends had installed a shard of panic in my body that made “I’m safe” feel like it would always be false until we had a positive singularity. I had to reclaim that, in several phases. And on reflection I had to digest some sense of social obligation there, like fear of people judging me, whether EAs or other obligation-driven activists. And maybe they do or will! But I’m not compromising on catching my breath.
Ah I realized I actually wanted to quote this paragraph (though the one I quoted above is also spot on)
I felt similarly angry when I realized that my well-meaning friends had installed a shard of panic in my body that made “I’m safe” feel like it would always be false until we had a positive singularity. I had to reclaim that, in several phases. And on reflection I had to digest some sense of social obligation there, like fear of people judging me, whether EAs or other obligation-driven activists. And maybe they do or will! But I’m not compromising on catching my breath.
Update! Since I posted the above comment, I’ve actually written up my story of finding more resolution around this! The post is called confronting & forgiving the people who instilled fear in my heart.