Nobody says you should like everyone. No one says you should agree with everyone either, even those who are high-profile in the community.
It sounds to me like this boils down to beware of logical fallacies, especially ad hominem. Don’t criticize people; criticize ideas. Here are a couple of tactical things that have helped me:
Pretend that a different person (e.g. one for whom you have positive regard) was making the same point.
Distill their main points down to neutral tone language (I haven’t tried it, but ChatGPT or other LLMs might be a good tool to do this).
Regarding the complaints you listed—wrong focus, sloppy thinking, irritating tone, mediocre performance—I’m a big fan of leadership by filling the vacuum. If you see something that could be improved and no one else is stepping up, maybe it’s time for you to step up and take a stab at it. It might not be perfect, but it will be better than doing nothing about it.
Nobody says you should like everyone. No one says you should agree with everyone either, even those who are high-profile in the community.
It sounds to me like this boils down to beware of logical fallacies, especially ad hominem. Don’t criticize people; criticize ideas. Here are a couple of tactical things that have helped me:
Pretend that a different person (e.g. one for whom you have positive regard) was making the same point.
Distill their main points down to neutral tone language (I haven’t tried it, but ChatGPT or other LLMs might be a good tool to do this).
Regarding the complaints you listed—wrong focus, sloppy thinking, irritating tone, mediocre performance—I’m a big fan of leadership by filling the vacuum. If you see something that could be improved and no one else is stepping up, maybe it’s time for you to step up and take a stab at it. It might not be perfect, but it will be better than doing nothing about it.