A confusing thing about my experience is that the truth of the no-self state is intellectually ineluctable to me and yet my perception is still filtered by selfhood. Sometimes I get a burst of spite-fueled energy that almost collapses into fatalism, and I remind myself that I chose this, that I can just go back if I don’t like it, but that I want to keep reading this chapter of my life, as it were, because it’s exciting! But even when I introspect, there’s a perspective there – someone has called it the watcher?
A confusing thing about my experience is that the truth of the no-self state is intellectually ineluctable to me and yet my perception is still filtered by selfhood. Sometimes I get a burst of spite-fueled energy that almost collapses into fatalism, and I remind myself that I chose this, that I can just go back if I don’t like it, but that I want to keep reading this chapter of my life, as it were, because it’s exciting! But even when I introspect, there’s a perspective there – someone has called it the watcher?