I have a cheap thing polyam folks can start doing today that would make a decent amount of progress over time.
more downvotes and social sanctions for the “monog is unenlightened” meme.
I know when people get excited about an awesome new social technology they want to scream it from the rooftops, and they think “why didn’t I try this sooner was I some kind of primitive?” But when you say that out loud, others hear “so you’re saying I’m a primitive”.
I’ve seen numerous comments and anecdotes of meatspace conversations that go further than that! “letting jealousy run your life means you need therapy” or “you’ve been brainwashed by the conformist masses of romcoms”, when they happen in our community they’re not downvoted into oblivion (yet, growth mindset)!
I don’t think it’s a referendum on community engagement in polyamory for us to listen to the complaints of people who are either obligate monog and had an experiment in polyam go south or monog and not interested in experimenting or questioning it.
(Keep in mind, many queer people go through the stage of skepticism that there exist any properly truly straight people at all. I sure did. This is seen as something to grow out of in the queer community. Let’s assert that assuming everyone would be polyam if they just tried harder to be civilized is something to grow out of, too).
I cosign this comment completely.
I have a cheap thing polyam folks can start doing today that would make a decent amount of progress over time.
more downvotes and social sanctions for the “monog is unenlightened” meme.
I know when people get excited about an awesome new social technology they want to scream it from the rooftops, and they think “why didn’t I try this sooner was I some kind of primitive?” But when you say that out loud, others hear “so you’re saying I’m a primitive”.
I’ve seen numerous comments and anecdotes of meatspace conversations that go further than that! “letting jealousy run your life means you need therapy” or “you’ve been brainwashed by the conformist masses of romcoms”, when they happen in our community they’re not downvoted into oblivion (yet, growth mindset)!
I don’t think it’s a referendum on community engagement in polyamory for us to listen to the complaints of people who are either obligate monog and had an experiment in polyam go south or monog and not interested in experimenting or questioning it.
(Keep in mind, many queer people go through the stage of skepticism that there exist any properly truly straight people at all. I sure did. This is seen as something to grow out of in the queer community. Let’s assert that assuming everyone would be polyam if they just tried harder to be civilized is something to grow out of, too).