Thank you for sharing this experience. The casual objectification of women is no small deal. Sorry you had to experience all this toxicity, and hope you find resolution in some way.
Your proposals seem to make a lot of sense.
As somewhat of an outsider (someone who hasn’t had the chance to participate to meetups), I see terms being thrown around as though they are a natural shared language of the community. Terms such as “SMV” (no idea what that is though I ended up looking it up), hypergamy… Even a reference to a “redpill”, always an onimous sign… Not to mention a casual reference to psychedelics making it seem as though I am reading about some 1960s hippie commune—I suppose that is to be expected given the movement’s relative youth, turning it into a substitute university of sorts with all that goes with it.
Being perhaps already too old—sigh—to be either worried or seduced by this (though it would no doubt be a fun story to write about), I do question if this is the right vibe for a movement like EA if this subculture is representative of what is going on. (Maybe it isn’t in which case my point would be much less relevant)
Of course some of that going on is inevitable. However, just like our hippy parents eventually found out, boundaries exist for a reason. You don’t want to be working, living, sleeping, partying and taking drugs with the exact same group of people for too long, especially if your work involves real responsibility. Humans being humans, this cocktail tends to lead to such things as power abuses, sexual harrassment, accusations of couch casting etc. Women usually end up being the first victim of such excesses.
Now I’m a big admirer of the 60s counterculture on net, but it was a protest culture. EA is not a protest movement. Rightly or wrongly, it seemed to me that one of the things EA could help to bring along was a new generation of morally sensitive leaders who collaborate across countries and sectors, building new positive institutions on the ashes of a decaying order. A “refounding” or a “reconstruction” similar to what occurred post WW2. Achieving this requires a degree of seriousness, an unrepetantly serious, dare I say boring acceptance of the burdens of adulthood. No need to live like a monk—but it seems to me that a norm of mixing everything in a big cocktail is giving more arguments to skeptics who have more than plenty to choose from these days.
Thank you for sharing this experience. The casual objectification of women is no small deal. Sorry you had to experience all this toxicity, and hope you find resolution in some way.
Your proposals seem to make a lot of sense.
As somewhat of an outsider (someone who hasn’t had the chance to participate to meetups), I see terms being thrown around as though they are a natural shared language of the community. Terms such as “SMV” (no idea what that is though I ended up looking it up), hypergamy… Even a reference to a “redpill”, always an onimous sign… Not to mention a casual reference to psychedelics making it seem as though I am reading about some 1960s hippie commune—I suppose that is to be expected given the movement’s relative youth, turning it into a substitute university of sorts with all that goes with it.
Being perhaps already too old—sigh—to be either worried or seduced by this (though it would no doubt be a fun story to write about), I do question if this is the right vibe for a movement like EA if this subculture is representative of what is going on. (Maybe it isn’t in which case my point would be much less relevant)
Of course some of that going on is inevitable. However, just like our hippy parents eventually found out, boundaries exist for a reason. You don’t want to be working, living, sleeping, partying and taking drugs with the exact same group of people for too long, especially if your work involves real responsibility. Humans being humans, this cocktail tends to lead to such things as power abuses, sexual harrassment, accusations of couch casting etc. Women usually end up being the first victim of such excesses.
Now I’m a big admirer of the 60s counterculture on net, but it was a protest culture. EA is not a protest movement. Rightly or wrongly, it seemed to me that one of the things EA could help to bring along was a new generation of morally sensitive leaders who collaborate across countries and sectors, building new positive institutions on the ashes of a decaying order. A “refounding” or a “reconstruction” similar to what occurred post WW2. Achieving this requires a degree of seriousness, an unrepetantly serious, dare I say boring acceptance of the burdens of adulthood. No need to live like a monk—but it seems to me that a norm of mixing everything in a big cocktail is giving more arguments to skeptics who have more than plenty to choose from these days.