Yeah, I agree with that, and I’m really glad how much Owen expresses he’s keen to work on himself.
I’m not sure my anger is appropriate here, but I’ve been in similar situations as this woman. If one of these people asked me for a conversation about their behaviour, I imagine being impressed/glad by them wanting to change but also feeling a bit like, ‘You already made me feel shitty, and now it’s my job to make sure you don’t do this again?’.
I think this is especially because the quoted sentence does not acknowledge the person much—even an addition of something like
’If there’s anyone else whom I’ve ever made feel uncomfortable or pressured <<I’m deeply sorry and regretful this happened. I would like to make sure I never put anyone in that position again.>>”
would have made me feel less bad about the phrasing.
I think for this kind of sentiment you should … make it clear that you don’t expect to hear from everyone who’s felt uncomfortable and this is fine? you’d just appreciate feedback?
(I feel slightly weird about the sentence you wrote above in a “the optimal amount of making women uncomfortable is not zero” kind of a way. Like, in this case there should be clearly much less of it on the current margin, just… as the sort of person some women are going to be occasionally uncomfortable about for dumb reasons)
Yeah, I agree with that, and I’m really glad how much Owen expresses he’s keen to work on himself.
I’m not sure my anger is appropriate here, but I’ve been in similar situations as this woman. If one of these people asked me for a conversation about their behaviour, I imagine being impressed/glad by them wanting to change but also feeling a bit like, ‘You already made me feel shitty, and now it’s my job to make sure you don’t do this again?’.
I think this is especially because the quoted sentence does not acknowledge the person much—even an addition of something like
’If there’s anyone else whom I’ve ever made feel uncomfortable or pressured <<I’m deeply sorry and regretful this happened. I would like to make sure I never put anyone in that position again.>>”
would have made me feel less bad about the phrasing.
I think for this kind of sentiment you should … make it clear that you don’t expect to hear from everyone who’s felt uncomfortable and this is fine? you’d just appreciate feedback?
(I feel slightly weird about the sentence you wrote above in a “the optimal amount of making women uncomfortable is not zero” kind of a way. Like, in this case there should be clearly much less of it on the current margin, just… as the sort of person some women are going to be occasionally uncomfortable about for dumb reasons)