Okay, so this looks pretty familiar from the perspective of someone who was banned from LessWrong for being both concise and direct about my religious beliefs, and also deeply irritated with how negative karma works. I don’t mind being praised inarticulately, but shunning and criticism are not good synonyms for each other.
Secondly, Effective Altruism as a forum is a bunch of people who have built their collective identity around Doing Good. This is not a bad thing, but burning the candle at both ends leads to burnout, and self-care is very much a Good thing. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Not more, not less, and not even quite the same way, but the same amount. Love in absolutes.
You have permission to hate things. You have permission to dislike things. You have permission to be spiteful and vindictive and cranky, if that’s what it takes to enforce your boundaries. This world is mortal; you do not owe it your soul.
But. You also have permission to forgive. To remember, and reframe, and refocus, and realize, and repent, and rejoice in that act of self-improvement. And to forget your hurts, except when you want to want to wear them.
Why do people drink alcohol, if not to mourn? So it is with sorrowful memories. Put the cup down, go home, take a shower, hug yourself, take up a tactile hobby like wrestling or origami or barefoot hiking, eat food when you’re hungry, drink water when you’re thirsty, sleep when you’re tired. Take joy in all the gifts your Heavenly Father has given you—including those sorrows, if you like!
Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly away. You are not inherently evil, nor are you particularly incompetent. There are others to bear the load while you rest.
Okay, so this looks pretty familiar from the perspective of someone who was banned from LessWrong for being both concise and direct about my religious beliefs, and also deeply irritated with how negative karma works. I don’t mind being praised inarticulately, but shunning and criticism are not good synonyms for each other.
Secondly, Effective Altruism as a forum is a bunch of people who have built their collective identity around Doing Good. This is not a bad thing, but burning the candle at both ends leads to burnout, and self-care is very much a Good thing. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Not more, not less, and not even quite the same way, but the same amount. Love in absolutes.
You have permission to hate things. You have permission to dislike things. You have permission to be spiteful and vindictive and cranky, if that’s what it takes to enforce your boundaries. This world is mortal; you do not owe it your soul.
But. You also have permission to forgive. To remember, and reframe, and refocus, and realize, and repent, and rejoice in that act of self-improvement. And to forget your hurts, except when you want to want to wear them.
Why do people drink alcohol, if not to mourn? So it is with sorrowful memories. Put the cup down, go home, take a shower, hug yourself, take up a tactile hobby like wrestling or origami or barefoot hiking, eat food when you’re hungry, drink water when you’re thirsty, sleep when you’re tired. Take joy in all the gifts your Heavenly Father has given you—including those sorrows, if you like!
Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly away. You are not inherently evil, nor are you particularly incompetent. There are others to bear the load while you rest.
:)