What I was saying is that if I were Andrew, I’d make it crystal clear that I’m happy to make the cup of tea, but don’t want to be shouted at; there are better ways to handle disagreements, and demands should be framed as requests. Chances are that Bob doesn’t enjoy shouting, so working out a way of making requests and settling disagreements without the shouting would benefit both.
More generally, I’d try to develop the relationship to be less “transactional”, where you act as partners willing to advance each other’s interests and where there is more trust, rather than only doing things in expectation of reward.
I’ve expanded the first paragraph and added a hypothetical example. Let me know if this clarifies the situation.
EDIT: Oh, I also added in a direct response to your comment.
Thanks, it does a bit.
What I was saying is that if I were Andrew, I’d make it crystal clear that I’m happy to make the cup of tea, but don’t want to be shouted at; there are better ways to handle disagreements, and demands should be framed as requests. Chances are that Bob doesn’t enjoy shouting, so working out a way of making requests and settling disagreements without the shouting would benefit both.
More generally, I’d try to develop the relationship to be less “transactional”, where you act as partners willing to advance each other’s interests and where there is more trust, rather than only doing things in expectation of reward.