I agree that avoiding asking “dumb questions” is harmful (to yourself), but I also think it’s a tendency that’s really hard to overcome, especially on your own. And I think it’s often related to impostor syndrome; a constant (usually unjustified!) fear of being exposed as unqualified inhibits risk-taking, including stuff like asking questions when you think there’s a chance that everyone else thinks the answer is obvious. (I wrote a bit about this in this appendix.)
Relatedly, I’ve found this diagram useful and “sticky” as a mental reference for how we end up with false beliefs about what everyone else knows (some people think the diagram should be made up of squiggly blobs of slightly different sizes, but that it’s basically accurate besides that — sorry for never updating it! :) ):
I’ve seen many variations of this diagram. I don’t know where this one is from, originally. I’ve been told that the circles should look more like blobs—people’s knowledge comes in different shapes. I agree, but don’t want to bother changing it.
A few things have helped me with this kind of thinking:
Finding trusted people / safe spaces where I could ask questions without feeling judged, asking “dumb” questions there, and building up confidence and habits for asking questions in other contexts, too.
I think I asked Linch a lot of “dumb questions” when he was my research supervisor, and it was great. I’d recommend it!
Bulldozing through the fear/anxiety for the first few times in new contexts breaks the ice for me and makes it easier for me to feel comfortable asking questions later on. (Sometimes I have this as an explicit goal the first few times I’m asking a “dumb” question somewhere.)
Caring a bit less about what the average person I interact with thinks of me (this is a classic post[1] on the topic, but I’m not sure how this actually improved for me)
I agree that avoiding asking “dumb questions” is harmful (to yourself), but I also think it’s a tendency that’s really hard to overcome, especially on your own. And I think it’s often related to impostor syndrome; a constant (usually unjustified!) fear of being exposed as unqualified inhibits risk-taking, including stuff like asking questions when you think there’s a chance that everyone else thinks the answer is obvious. (I wrote a bit about this in this appendix.)
Relatedly, I’ve found this diagram useful and “sticky” as a mental reference for how we end up with false beliefs about what everyone else knows (some people think the diagram should be made up of squiggly blobs of slightly different sizes, but that it’s basically accurate besides that — sorry for never updating it! :) ):
A few things have helped me with this kind of thinking:
Finding trusted people / safe spaces where I could ask questions without feeling judged, asking “dumb” questions there, and building up confidence and habits for asking questions in other contexts, too.
I think I asked Linch a lot of “dumb questions” when he was my research supervisor, and it was great. I’d recommend it!
Bulldozing through the fear/anxiety for the first few times in new contexts breaks the ice for me and makes it easier for me to feel comfortable asking questions later on. (Sometimes I have this as an explicit goal the first few times I’m asking a “dumb” question somewhere.)
Viewing looking silly as charity unto others
Learning about impostor syndrome
Caring a bit less about what the average person I interact with thinks of me (this is a classic post[1] on the topic, but I’m not sure how this actually improved for me)
From the post, another diagram I like (lightly adapted):