I think it is possible that things that make the community happy will end up being net negative for the world. But I do think that creating a happy, thriving social community, that people feel comfortable in, is going to be really important for the longterm success of this movement (as you acknowledge). And there’s a kind of tricky thing where… like, if I felt like ‘oh, the movement tolerates you having polyamorous relationships now, but if we decided one day that this had net negative consequences, we’d shun you’ - then I’d feel way less good in the social community now, because my acceptance wouldnt feel secure. I think people need to feel safe and like their acceptance is “unconditional”, rather than feeling like if their presence is no longer deemed to be net positive for the world, they’ll be rejected from their social network [cf “I didn’t get into EAG and am sad” discourse] .
I put “unconditional” in inverted commas because obviously some conditions are always present and appropriate—if I went on a murdering spree (or committed a billion-dollar fraud :p) it would be reasonable for the community to shun me. But I think this bar should be pretty high, because the costs are bigger than the obvious costs to the people being shunned.
I think it is possible that things that make the community happy will end up being net negative for the world. But I do think that creating a happy, thriving social community, that people feel comfortable in, is going to be really important for the longterm success of this movement (as you acknowledge). And there’s a kind of tricky thing where… like, if I felt like ‘oh, the movement tolerates you having polyamorous relationships now, but if we decided one day that this had net negative consequences, we’d shun you’ - then I’d feel way less good in the social community now, because my acceptance wouldnt feel secure. I think people need to feel safe and like their acceptance is “unconditional”, rather than feeling like if their presence is no longer deemed to be net positive for the world, they’ll be rejected from their social network [cf “I didn’t get into EAG and am sad” discourse] .
I put “unconditional” in inverted commas because obviously some conditions are always present and appropriate—if I went on a murdering spree (or committed a billion-dollar fraud :p) it would be reasonable for the community to shun me. But I think this bar should be pretty high, because the costs are bigger than the obvious costs to the people being shunned.