Have you ever done something good, helped someone or took part in an organised event, and afterwards wanted to tell your friends about it, but in the end decided there was nothing to tell or that others would see it as bragging? What did you decide to do then?
As a matter of principle, all charitable activities should stem from an inner need to help poor and needy people and should be selfless. We do not seek profit in them and that is precisely why they are so noble.
Hence, there is sometimes a conviction that such activities should not be spoken of loudly, or boasted about, because the search for applause, in a way, crosses out this idea of selfless help. Quiet and even anonymous help is much better perceived. It would best meet the above standards.
On the other hand, those who are flaunting helping others are sometimes seen as self-interested, seeking fame and recognition, as if taking advantage of others’ suffering. At the very least, such accusations are easy to encounter, especially online. How much are they right? We will take a closer look.
When I recently decided to take in war refugees under my roof, and later became involved in organising aid to the wider community, exactly this issue came to mind. Is it appropriate for me to speak out about it? I’m sure someone will pick up on the fact that it’s applause-seeking. Do I want to deal with it? Maybe it is better to do everything quietly, with close friends from whom I can expect understanding?
However, I quickly came to the conclusion that if I had the opportunity to reach a wider audience, I could help more than if I didn’t take that opportunity. I decided that it was better to endure criticism but ultimately do more good than to chicken out and achieve far less.
Having said that, I fully understand the dilemma of “tell the story of the good I’ve done, or keep it to myself?”. After all, I have spoken more than once about the fact that, for example, we should not say of ourselves that we are gentlemen or ladies, because it is for others to judge by our behaviour and character. It is our surroundings that give us that designation. It is the same with being a hero helping those in need.
And arguably it may seem nobler for a person to act charitably without receiving anything in return than for one who gains something in the process, but even if that were the case, I emphasise that it is a difference in gradation, not a division between good and bad! Also, someone who derives something for himself from helping those in need is acting nobly. In the end, the most important thing is that the person in need has gained something. That is what counts most here. By focusing on the people helping, we unfortunately lose the right perspective.
Moreover, there is no denying that, de facto, almost all of us gain from charity. Isn’t it the case that when you donate money to an important cause you feel better at heart? When you help carry out renovations in the home of a person with a disability, don’t you feel the satisfaction of energy and time well spent? When you take in a refugee under your roof, don’t you feel the joy of making the world a little better? The only one who does not gain is someone who is completely insensitive and probably the one who donates money to a random institution without even knowing what purpose it will be used for.
We all also gain a little peace of mind, enjoy the gratitude shown to us and find it nice when those around us appreciate us for it. Is this unethical? Not at all!
So why are we afraid to praise a good deed? I feel that the problem may grow out of the fact that we increasingly treat popularity like currency. For we live in a world where fame can be a value in itself. And if we perceive it that way, people who ‘boast about charity’ gain something tangible in our eyes, as if someone is paying them to do good.
We are used to seeing empty celebrity, contemptuously called celebrity, who represents nothing, but gathers attention and gains wealth. So we begin to abhor all popularity and accidentally throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Because, in fact, popularity, fame and the ability to reach a wide audience can be an invaluable tool for promoting good attitudes. This is all the more important when we think that the entire media landscape is overrun by consumerism and entertainment. This is the only way to convince others that people are still good, willing to help and remember those in need. That doing good is important and worth promoting, even advertising. And if someone can show this as a fashionable and cool thing to do, so much the better! After all, this is the main way of educating the younger generation and instilling the right role models.
If the only people who could be loud were those who have nothing of value to contribute, where would we go?
So remember that each of us can add our brick to the building of this house. If you think yours doesn’t matter, you need to know that grassroots initiatives have enormous power. So what if some foundation hires a popular actor to promote some charity? For most of us, these are institutions from another reality. On the other hand, we will perceive in a completely different way a colleague from the school bench or the office next door who helps, even though it is not his job at all.
Someone who does not do charity work will then think “why?”, “why?”, “who does it at all?”, “what can be gained?” and so on. This is how break-outs are created.
You don’t have to immediately be an advocate for a cause. You can simply bear witness to your commitment so that the trail is not left only by critics and passive people. Help others build a real picture of the world around you, because it’s actually better than you might expect from information gleaned from social media. It’s worth redressing these proportions.
Every good gesture deserves praise, but it can be presented in a variety of ways, including some that will be questionable to say the least. As I encourage praise for the good done, let’s do it constructively and consider how to do it sensitively.
Don’t exploit others—that is, don’t use the image of the people you are helping or private information about them if they clearly do not wish it. However, do not ask permission to do so yourself. A very good example is the First Job Programme Foundation’s initiative called the Clothes Bank. In the autumn, as part of this project, I had the pleasure of conducting a training session for young men from children’s homes. At the time, we talked to the organisers about the possibilities of promoting the action and everyone was in full agreement that photos showing the metamorphoses of these young people would be great to advertise the action, but no one was going to do it, even with their permission. We simply felt that it would be unfair to the people involved themselves. After all, such initiatives can be promoted in many different ways and they don’t necessarily have to be the simplest ones.
Don’t make a hero of yourself—the fact that you are helping makes you a more noble person, but you don’t actually have to say it outright. That would not be the best testimony. Everyone will know how to judge you themselves. Instead, focus on your feelings. For there is a huge difference between ‘I am a hero’ and ‘I feel like a hero’. Pay attention to the subtleties of language when you talk about such things. By the way, it is those feelings of fulfilment that accompany us when we do something good that are the greatest reward, and it is worth highlighting this when promoting similar deeds.
Don’t criticise others—if you feel that society is not involved enough in a cause you have just contributed to, try not to jump on the ignorance of those around you. Negative emotions are not going to convince anyone, although I understand that they may accompany you. If this is the case, try to wait a bit until you’ve cooled down, and then talk about the whole thing in a spirit that can positively or constructively encourage others to participate.
Charitable or philanthropic actions make you a good person. Remember that no one can tell you how specifically to help, because only you know how much you can afford both in terms of energy, finances or time, as well as mental strength. And you don’t have to tell anyone about your commitment. It is your free choice.
But don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t help or talk about it in public if you want to do it and you think it’s the right thing to do. Because, in fact, by skilfully ‘bragging’, you may inadvertently multiply your good deed, encouraging many others to do the same.
Have you ever done something good, helped someone or took part in an organised event, and afterwards wanted to tell your friends about it, but in the end decided there was nothing to tell or that others would see it as bragging? What did you decide to do then?
As a matter of principle, all charitable activities should stem from an inner need to help poor and needy people and should be selfless. We do not seek profit in them and that is precisely why they are so noble.
Hence, there is sometimes a conviction that such activities should not be spoken of loudly, or boasted about, because the search for applause, in a way, crosses out this idea of selfless help. Quiet and even anonymous help is much better perceived. It would best meet the above standards.
On the other hand, those who are flaunting helping others are sometimes seen as self-interested, seeking fame and recognition, as if taking advantage of others’ suffering. At the very least, such accusations are easy to encounter, especially online. How much are they right? We will take a closer look.
When I recently decided to take in war refugees under my roof, and later became involved in organising aid to the wider community, exactly this issue came to mind. Is it appropriate for me to speak out about it? I’m sure someone will pick up on the fact that it’s applause-seeking. Do I want to deal with it? Maybe it is better to do everything quietly, with close friends from whom I can expect understanding?
However, I quickly came to the conclusion that if I had the opportunity to reach a wider audience, I could help more than if I didn’t take that opportunity. I decided that it was better to endure criticism but ultimately do more good than to chicken out and achieve far less.
Having said that, I fully understand the dilemma of “tell the story of the good I’ve done, or keep it to myself?”. After all, I have spoken more than once about the fact that, for example, we should not say of ourselves that we are gentlemen or ladies, because it is for others to judge by our behaviour and character. It is our surroundings that give us that designation. It is the same with being a hero helping those in need.
And arguably it may seem nobler for a person to act charitably without receiving anything in return than for one who gains something in the process, but even if that were the case, I emphasise that it is a difference in gradation, not a division between good and bad! Also, someone who derives something for himself from helping those in need is acting nobly. In the end, the most important thing is that the person in need has gained something. That is what counts most here. By focusing on the people helping, we unfortunately lose the right perspective.
Moreover, there is no denying that, de facto, almost all of us gain from charity. Isn’t it the case that when you donate money to an important cause you feel better at heart? When you help carry out renovations in the home of a person with a disability, don’t you feel the satisfaction of energy and time well spent? When you take in a refugee under your roof, don’t you feel the joy of making the world a little better? The only one who does not gain is someone who is completely insensitive and probably the one who donates money to a random institution without even knowing what purpose it will be used for.
We all also gain a little peace of mind, enjoy the gratitude shown to us and find it nice when those around us appreciate us for it. Is this unethical? Not at all!
So why are we afraid to praise a good deed? I feel that the problem may grow out of the fact that we increasingly treat popularity like currency. For we live in a world where fame can be a value in itself. And if we perceive it that way, people who ‘boast about charity’ gain something tangible in our eyes, as if someone is paying them to do good.
We are used to seeing empty celebrity, contemptuously called celebrity, who represents nothing, but gathers attention and gains wealth. So we begin to abhor all popularity and accidentally throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Because, in fact, popularity, fame and the ability to reach a wide audience can be an invaluable tool for promoting good attitudes. This is all the more important when we think that the entire media landscape is overrun by consumerism and entertainment. This is the only way to convince others that people are still good, willing to help and remember those in need. That doing good is important and worth promoting, even advertising. And if someone can show this as a fashionable and cool thing to do, so much the better! After all, this is the main way of educating the younger generation and instilling the right role models.
If the only people who could be loud were those who have nothing of value to contribute, where would we go?
So remember that each of us can add our brick to the building of this house. If you think yours doesn’t matter, you need to know that grassroots initiatives have enormous power. So what if some foundation hires a popular actor to promote some charity? For most of us, these are institutions from another reality. On the other hand, we will perceive in a completely different way a colleague from the school bench or the office next door who helps, even though it is not his job at all.
Someone who does not do charity work will then think “why?”, “why?”, “who does it at all?”, “what can be gained?” and so on. This is how break-outs are created.
You don’t have to immediately be an advocate for a cause. You can simply bear witness to your commitment so that the trail is not left only by critics and passive people. Help others build a real picture of the world around you, because it’s actually better than you might expect from information gleaned from social media. It’s worth redressing these proportions.
Every good gesture deserves praise, but it can be presented in a variety of ways, including some that will be questionable to say the least. As I encourage praise for the good done, let’s do it constructively and consider how to do it sensitively.
Don’t exploit others—that is, don’t use the image of the people you are helping or private information about them if they clearly do not wish it. However, do not ask permission to do so yourself. A very good example is the First Job Programme Foundation’s initiative called the Clothes Bank. In the autumn, as part of this project, I had the pleasure of conducting a training session for young men from children’s homes. At the time, we talked to the organisers about the possibilities of promoting the action and everyone was in full agreement that photos showing the metamorphoses of these young people would be great to advertise the action, but no one was going to do it, even with their permission. We simply felt that it would be unfair to the people involved themselves. After all, such initiatives can be promoted in many different ways and they don’t necessarily have to be the simplest ones.
Don’t make a hero of yourself—the fact that you are helping makes you a more noble person, but you don’t actually have to say it outright. That would not be the best testimony. Everyone will know how to judge you themselves. Instead, focus on your feelings. For there is a huge difference between ‘I am a hero’ and ‘I feel like a hero’. Pay attention to the subtleties of language when you talk about such things. By the way, it is those feelings of fulfilment that accompany us when we do something good that are the greatest reward, and it is worth highlighting this when promoting similar deeds.
Don’t criticise others—if you feel that society is not involved enough in a cause you have just contributed to, try not to jump on the ignorance of those around you. Negative emotions are not going to convince anyone, although I understand that they may accompany you. If this is the case, try to wait a bit until you’ve cooled down, and then talk about the whole thing in a spirit that can positively or constructively encourage others to participate.
Charitable or philanthropic actions make you a good person. Remember that no one can tell you how specifically to help, because only you know how much you can afford both in terms of energy, finances or time, as well as mental strength. And you don’t have to tell anyone about your commitment. It is your free choice.
But don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t help or talk about it in public if you want to do it and you think it’s the right thing to do. Because, in fact, by skilfully ‘bragging’, you may inadvertently multiply your good deed, encouraging many others to do the same.