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Loneliness may indeed be rising, but we don’t yet have good evidence that that’s the case:

“It’s easy to find claims that loneliness is rising (for example, here’s a recent Wall Street Journal article on that theme). But last summer the Social Capital Project run by the Joint Economic Committee of the US Congress published “All the Lonely Americans?” (August 22, 2018) and found little evidence of such an increase. The report cites a broad array of claims and evidence, which you can check out for yourself. But here’s a quick overview of some main points (with citations omitted for readability):

There are a few different but related questions that tend to get lumped into one general story about whether loneliness is on the rise in America, in part because of a lack of good data, and occasionally because of a failure to distinguish the two often distinct lines of psychological and sociological research. One question is whether Americans are increasingly alone (that is, have fewer social contacts, or have less social interaction). This question, which sociologists tend to study, is about objectively observable social networks or relationship characteristics. It is distinguishable from the second question, regarding the subjective experience of loneliness. This latter question—whether Americans are increasingly experiencing loneliness (`perceived social isolation’)—has typically been the research purview of psychologists.

Correlations are lower than we might expect between the most common measures of loneliness and objective measures of social network characteristics, so these two questions are substantially though not wholly distinct from each other. … However, it is not at all clear that loneliness has increased over the last several decades.

In his 2011 book, Still Connected: Family and Friends in America Since 1970, sociologist Claude Fischer puts a fine point on this question: `For all the interest in loneliness, there appears to be little national survey data that would permit us to draw trends.′

We looked for the strongest support for the claim that loneliness has risen, and the best we could find comes from polls by FGI. Between 1994 and 2004, the FGI polls indicate that the share of adults saying loneliness was a problem for them rose from roughly 25 percent to 30 percent. It is unclear, however, whether this five-point difference reflects a real shift or arises from chance differences in the people sampled in each year or in survey administration.

The remaining evidence suggests flat trends. … The claim that loneliness has doubled—or even increased—since the 1980s (let alone the late 1960s) is simply unwarranted. … It is entirely possible that loneliness has increased over time, but the available evidence does not appear to support that claim. It is just as possible that loneliness has stayed the same or even declined.”

I’m too busy thinking about AI safety to start any company which isn’t related to AI. But I think this is a product the world needs, and I want you to build it and donate the money you make to effective charities if it sounds exciting to you.

Probably you’d make a big contribution to AI safety by becoming a billionaire who cares about AI safety?

Interesting ideas… the main thing I am struggeling with is the inherent danger of seeing this as for-profit business… You will start to optimize for your metrics and want hockeypuck growth figures to satisfy shareholders in the attempt to become the next WeWork unicorn. Quicker than you can say “Utopia” the whole thing will turn into a creepy shit show tracking your every move trying to upsell you on the next great product.

That’s maybe a little harsh but I think you get my idea… there are some interesting aspects in your proposal but without a really well designed incentive system the whole thing will go up in flames. I warned you...

See also: Bungalow, HubHaus, Common.

I wish someone would do shared living for people who want private living units (not just bedrooms) + shared common spaces, e.g. multiple houses on one block and a shared common space on that block. Makes co-living work for families or people who want a bit more privacy.

Nice post. Your friend wrote that

“Lately, I’ve been having an alarming amount of conversations arise about the burdens of loneliness, alienation, rootlessness, and a lack of belonging that many of my peers feel, especially in the Bay Area”,

which made me wonder if there are geographical areas or cities in the western world that have a particularly high level of connection and community? Maybe those cities could be studied and promising cultural characteristics be spread to other cities and communities?

There are already at least three companies in this space: RoomieMatch, Roomi, and Roomster. I wonder why nobody I know uses them, but dating apps are very popular?

It seems to me that the triangulation, trust, and transfer problems in roommate matching that go beyond what OKCupid has to deal with:

• There are more than two people involved, and the difficulty of finding communal compatibility complexifies geometrically with the number of roommates.

• By the same token, people moving in and out happens more frequently with larger numbers of room mates, often with short notice, making it hard to keep a stable equilibrium of preferences.

• Imagine if it was easy to “date your future housemates,” perhaps by living together for a month. It’s already emotionally painful for people to deal with or inflict rejection in one-on-one dating. Imagine being the “odd man out” in this situation. That sounds like a recipe for really uncomfortable social dynamics.

• People who rent because they can’t afford their own place probably can’t afford a high-touch service. People who have more money could buy their own place and interview enough room mates to make sure everyone is a good fit with them personally.

• Land lords often influence or even entirely control the process of finding new room mates. There are also laws around evictions that make it very difficult to kick somebody out if its not working for others, whereas there are no legal barriers to breaking up with someone you’re dating if there’s no marriage and no kids.

• There’s a much higher effort and commitment barrier required to move than to go on a date.

• This is speculative, but OKCupid’s success may stem from capitalizing on a cultural institution that makes romantic love feel of vast importance. By contrast, finding an ideal group of room mates doesn’t have the same cultural importance: we still dream of having our own place by ourselves or with our own biological family. To have comparable success, such a service would need to create a new dream. Even if that’s your dream, is it the dream of your housemates?

• Similarly, the service OKCupid provides may be less in matching people with compatible characteristics, and more in identifying an abundance of single people and getting them hyped to go on a date. The purpose of the “matching” is to trick you into building up anticipation, not to ensure a really good fit (after all, if it did that too well, people wouldn’t come back for more!). Instinct, hormones, and love do most of the work of making people stick together in the end.

• When people do try and start intentional group houses, they’re often organized around a shared social movement, which already have word-of-mouth and social media channels where people can learn about these opportunities for free.

I think a company would do better to work on solving one or more of these problems.

Crossposted from the LW forum

I had high hopes for this post...and was disappointed. I don’t think getting roommates or changing roommates is a cure for loneliness for the majority of adults. If I wrote a similar post, instead, I’d discuss various forms of **meditation**. Additionally, I’d mention how to find friends in new places (not necessarily roommates as I don’t base my room/​housing on the who—but the where).

Even then, since most people are looking for a life partner, the better way to reduce loneliness is to meet potential suitors. So then one more prospective route is how to meet, generally, single people. Colloquially, at least in the US, this means going to bars or “day gaming.”

I believe that the feeling of loneliness probably is one big contributor to mental health issues and I like your idea of tackling it pragmatically/​for-profit.

My gut feeling is that this won‘t be used and people are happy enough with the Craigslist solution. Anectdotally, my roommates (intelligent people) thought it was a joke when I proposed that I would design a questionnaire for people applying to live with us. Another platform, OkCupid, tries to offer meaningful matching scores for romantic partners and it seems to be rather fringe, at least in Germany.