Yes, it was. Let me make it clear—there was still a significant power imbalance and he ignored it, which I believe is stupid. Regardless, my boundary stays exactly in the the same place. And for the context, I’ve experienced creepy people, unwanted sexual behavior and harassment many times (not in EA, to be clear), more than three times it was serious, some of the instances were when I was a minor. Still wouldn’t trade it for something I believe is (a soft version, but still) a purity culture, as such culture is something I’ve experienced as well and it harms more (and it would harm more not only me, but also other people if imposed, in my opinion). Moreover, I believe some of the harassment I’ve experienced was encouraged by such culture because imposing such rules also has serious, not always obvious consequences. I know that right now it may seem like a good thing to do, as many believe that recent situation was a fruit of “too much sexual freedom” and “sleeping around”, and you really want to try something even extreme to be safe. I’d say—it’s a trap. But feel free to try it, if you want and it’s good for you and your personal integrity, I honestly wish you the best. In the same time, I’m not going to support it, my boundary stays the same and I’m not going to change my actions. I’m going to keep sleeping around, and you have exactly the same power over it, as, for example, any type of church does—which is none or very little. If it turns out that I meet with a backlash or interacting with the community stops being for me, I’m ok with that.
Yes, it was. Let me make it clear—there was still a significant power imbalance and he ignored it, which I believe is stupid.
Regardless, my boundary stays exactly in the the same place. And for the context, I’ve experienced creepy people, unwanted sexual behavior and harassment many times (not in EA, to be clear), more than three times it was serious, some of the instances were when I was a minor. Still wouldn’t trade it for something I believe is (a soft version, but still) a purity culture, as such culture is something I’ve experienced as well and it harms more (and it would harm more not only me, but also other people if imposed, in my opinion). Moreover, I believe some of the harassment I’ve experienced was encouraged by such culture because imposing such rules also has serious, not always obvious consequences. I know that right now it may seem like a good thing to do, as many believe that recent situation was a fruit of “too much sexual freedom” and “sleeping around”, and you really want to try something even extreme to be safe. I’d say—it’s a trap. But feel free to try it, if you want and it’s good for you and your personal integrity, I honestly wish you the best.
In the same time, I’m not going to support it, my boundary stays the same and I’m not going to change my actions. I’m going to keep sleeping around, and you have exactly the same power over it, as, for example, any type of church does—which is none or very little. If it turns out that I meet with a backlash or interacting with the community stops being for me, I’m ok with that.