I feel like there’s some implicit claim that only a subset of people (socially awkward men?) aren’t romantically perceptive
I don’t think that’s true and I think all the claims on the next list are much more likely true and more relevant to the argument:
On average men are more likely to be more assertive or aggressive when pursuing women than when the roles are reversed
On average women are more likely to be creeped out by being the target of unreciprocated sexual interest from a man than when the roles are reversed
On average women worry much more that rebuffing a man could lead to him getting angry and yelling at her than the other way around
On average women worry about being physically overpowered by a man much more than the other way around
On average if someone is trying to actively display uncomfortability with a situation in a subtle way, women are more likely to pick up on this than men are
On average women are more likely than men to find it very uncomfortable when subtle hints of uncomfortability are ignored
I’m less confident in 5 and 6 than 1-4, but I think the argument works even if those are ignored.
I also think the gender imbalance is important here. If men outnumber women in EA by around 5 to 2, then if everyone pursues X people of the opposite gender, the average man will be pursued by 2X/5 women and the average woman will be pursued by 5X/2 men. That’s the difference in being pursued by 2 people at the same time and being pursued by 12 or 13 people at the same time. Whatever harms there are are magnified very much for the women, in addition to each instance possibly causing more average harm when it’s towards the women due to points 1-6 above. Also simply being pursued by so many people in itself can be exhausting (I think breadthofdebate’s comment demonstrates this point). Even if there’s no “bad behaviour” and being pursued by one or two people is exciting and an ego boost, being pursued by a dozen might instead be demoralizing.
I don’t think that’s true and I think all the claims on the next list are much more likely true and more relevant to the argument:
On average men are more likely to be more assertive or aggressive when pursuing women than when the roles are reversed
On average women are more likely to be creeped out by being the target of unreciprocated sexual interest from a man than when the roles are reversed
On average women worry much more that rebuffing a man could lead to him getting angry and yelling at her than the other way around
On average women worry about being physically overpowered by a man much more than the other way around
On average if someone is trying to actively display uncomfortability with a situation in a subtle way, women are more likely to pick up on this than men are
On average women are more likely than men to find it very uncomfortable when subtle hints of uncomfortability are ignored
I’m less confident in 5 and 6 than 1-4, but I think the argument works even if those are ignored.
I also think the gender imbalance is important here. If men outnumber women in EA by around 5 to 2, then if everyone pursues X people of the opposite gender, the average man will be pursued by 2X/5 women and the average woman will be pursued by 5X/2 men. That’s the difference in being pursued by 2 people at the same time and being pursued by 12 or 13 people at the same time. Whatever harms there are are magnified very much for the women, in addition to each instance possibly causing more average harm when it’s towards the women due to points 1-6 above. Also simply being pursued by so many people in itself can be exhausting (I think breadthofdebate’s comment demonstrates this point). Even if there’s no “bad behaviour” and being pursued by one or two people is exciting and an ego boost, being pursued by a dozen might instead be demoralizing.