HI there, lots of interesting stuff here! not claiming to have read the whole thing but a few things that come to mind
Our interpretation of community is too linear, and we need to shift our ideals of community from organizer-centric to a more holistic approach
Whoâs âweâ in this that constitutes the âourâ?
The introductory paragraphs of Section 2 - Iâm afraid I donât know what/âwho youâre talking about đ Thatâs not to say you arenât addressing a real phenomenon, itâs just that I lack the context to understand what issues youâre addressing
You use a lot of passive voice, e.g. âAgency is what should be taught and internalized throughout any educationââhard for me to slog through these sentences as a reader
Hi Seth, thanks for your comment! I ran out of time while I was writing and didnât properly context switch for Sections 1-3. This was more in a vague societal sense and not through the EA lens. I am writing a book and Sections 1-3 were taken from that. Great feedback though that I should narrow the context.
HI there, lots of interesting stuff here! not claiming to have read the whole thing but a few things that come to mind
Whoâs âweâ in this that constitutes the âourâ?
The introductory paragraphs of Section 2 - Iâm afraid I donât know what/âwho youâre talking about đ Thatâs not to say you arenât addressing a real phenomenon, itâs just that I lack the context to understand what issues youâre addressing
You use a lot of passive voice, e.g. âAgency is what should be taught and internalized throughout any educationââhard for me to slog through these sentences as a reader
OK will read more and comment more later I hope!
Hi Seth, thanks for your comment! I ran out of time while I was writing and didnât properly context switch for Sections 1-3. This was more in a vague societal sense and not through the EA lens. I am writing a book and Sections 1-3 were taken from that. Great feedback though that I should narrow the context.
Hope you have more feedback!