HI there, lots of interesting stuff here! not claiming to have read the whole thing but a few things that come to mind
Our interpretation of community is too linear, and we need to shift our ideals of community from organizer-centric to a more holistic approach
Who’s ‘we’ in this that constitutes the ‘our’?
The introductory paragraphs of Section 2 - I’m afraid I don’t know what/who you’re talking about 😃 That’s not to say you aren’t addressing a real phenomenon, it’s just that I lack the context to understand what issues you’re addressing
You use a lot of passive voice, e.g. “Agency is what should be taught and internalized throughout any education”—hard for me to slog through these sentences as a reader
Hi Seth, thanks for your comment! I ran out of time while I was writing and didn’t properly context switch for Sections 1-3. This was more in a vague societal sense and not through the EA lens. I am writing a book and Sections 1-3 were taken from that. Great feedback though that I should narrow the context.
HI there, lots of interesting stuff here! not claiming to have read the whole thing but a few things that come to mind
Who’s ‘we’ in this that constitutes the ‘our’?
The introductory paragraphs of Section 2 - I’m afraid I don’t know what/who you’re talking about 😃 That’s not to say you aren’t addressing a real phenomenon, it’s just that I lack the context to understand what issues you’re addressing
You use a lot of passive voice, e.g. “Agency is what should be taught and internalized throughout any education”—hard for me to slog through these sentences as a reader
OK will read more and comment more later I hope!
Hi Seth, thanks for your comment! I ran out of time while I was writing and didn’t properly context switch for Sections 1-3. This was more in a vague societal sense and not through the EA lens. I am writing a book and Sections 1-3 were taken from that. Great feedback though that I should narrow the context.
Hope you have more feedback!