I think the biggest reason why your tone is relevant here is that you are seeking introductions to potential collaborators. People care a lot about what others are like to work with!
I agree! So, consider the scenario: I stand-up and ask “does anyone know someone I might talk to?” and the response I get is “but we don’t want to give you money”. I correct that misrepresentation, repeatedly, until I suspect that I am being trolled—and my self-defense is used as a reason to ignore me. If I hadn’t been poked-in-the-eye repeatedly, those introductions would begin on a pleasant footing.
Core to this problem: each of you are focusing on how I can “get better results by playing nice”. I am focusing on “I was misrepresented, and that should be considered first, in the moral calculus.” If I roll-over every time someone bullies me, then I’ll be liked by a whole lot of bullies. That doesn’t sound like a win, to me.
I think the biggest reason why your tone is relevant here is that you are seeking introductions to potential collaborators. People care a lot about what others are like to work with!
I agree! So, consider the scenario: I stand-up and ask “does anyone know someone I might talk to?” and the response I get is “but we don’t want to give you money”. I correct that misrepresentation, repeatedly, until I suspect that I am being trolled—and my self-defense is used as a reason to ignore me. If I hadn’t been poked-in-the-eye repeatedly, those introductions would begin on a pleasant footing.
Core to this problem: each of you are focusing on how I can “get better results by playing nice”. I am focusing on “I was misrepresented, and that should be considered first, in the moral calculus.” If I roll-over every time someone bullies me, then I’ll be liked by a whole lot of bullies. That doesn’t sound like a win, to me.