Various people have posted concerns about social dynamics below (particularly that there might be an impression, intentional or otherwise, that people opting out were deficient* in some way). I think these concerns are worth taking seriously. I’ve been on the receiving end of mostly negative, anonymous, unsolicited feedback, which was at least in part about things that I was aware of but which were outside my control. This made me feel bad not only because of the negative things the feedback mentioned, but also about not being the sort of person who welcomed feedback like that. I think my intuitive reaction to first reading the post was kind of along those lines, causing me to not actually comment the following when I first saw the post, as it felt like it reflected badly on me.
I would hate this.
I’m trying to get better at responding well to feedback, but I don’t see any remotely possible worlds where I would make enough progress for this to be anything other than awful for me.
I feel stressed just thinking about it.
I don’t know if it was a mistake to post (I can imagine the process being really valuable for some people), and I haven’t up or downvoted. I made myself write this mostly because I expect many people who feel similar will read and not want to post, for the same reason I didn’t want to, and seeing the couple of comments from people who did post feelings like this made me feel better about my reaction.
*bad at truth seeking, not rational enough, too soldier-y etc.
I’m really you’ve had a bad experience with negative, anonymous, unsolicited feedback and then felt bad about feeling bad. That sounds really tough.
I’m glad you decided to post and wanted to reply to say thanks for sharing your experience. Given how tough negative feedback has been for you in the past I think that was brave, so wanted to reply and upvote to thank you. It sounds like a Doom Circle would not be a good fit for you and that’s totally ok. I think having good self-knowledge and setting boundaries is great :)
Various people have posted concerns about social dynamics below (particularly that there might be an impression, intentional or otherwise, that people opting out were deficient* in some way). I think these concerns are worth taking seriously. I’ve been on the receiving end of mostly negative, anonymous, unsolicited feedback, which was at least in part about things that I was aware of but which were outside my control. This made me feel bad not only because of the negative things the feedback mentioned, but also about not being the sort of person who welcomed feedback like that. I think my intuitive reaction to first reading the post was kind of along those lines, causing me to not actually comment the following when I first saw the post, as it felt like it reflected badly on me.
I would hate this.
I’m trying to get better at responding well to feedback, but I don’t see any remotely possible worlds where I would make enough progress for this to be anything other than awful for me.
I feel stressed just thinking about it.
I don’t know if it was a mistake to post (I can imagine the process being really valuable for some people), and I haven’t up or downvoted. I made myself write this mostly because I expect many people who feel similar will read and not want to post, for the same reason I didn’t want to, and seeing the couple of comments from people who did post feelings like this made me feel better about my reaction.
*bad at truth seeking, not rational enough, too soldier-y etc.
I’m really you’ve had a bad experience with negative, anonymous, unsolicited feedback and then felt bad about feeling bad. That sounds really tough.
I’m glad you decided to post and wanted to reply to say thanks for sharing your experience. Given how tough negative feedback has been for you in the past I think that was brave, so wanted to reply and upvote to thank you. It sounds like a Doom Circle would not be a good fit for you and that’s totally ok. I think having good self-knowledge and setting boundaries is great :)