In general I use and like this concept quite a lot, but someone else advocating it does give me the chance to float my feelings the other direction:
I think sometimes when I want to go to missing moods as a concept to explain to my interlocutor what I think is going off in our conversation, I end up feeling like I’m saying “I am demanding you are required to be sad because I would feel better if you were”, which I want to be careful of imposing on people. It sometimes also feels like I’m assuming we have the same values in a way I would want to do more upfront work before calling on.
More generally, I think it’s good to notice the costs of the place you’re taking on some tradeoff spectrum, but also good to feel good about doing the right thing, making the right call, balancing things correctly etc.
In general I use and like this concept quite a lot, but someone else advocating it does give me the chance to float my feelings the other direction:
I think sometimes when I want to go to missing moods as a concept to explain to my interlocutor what I think is going off in our conversation, I end up feeling like I’m saying “I am demanding you are required to be sad because I would feel better if you were”, which I want to be careful of imposing on people. It sometimes also feels like I’m assuming we have the same values in a way I would want to do more upfront work before calling on.
More generally, I think it’s good to notice the costs of the place you’re taking on some tradeoff spectrum, but also good to feel good about doing the right thing, making the right call, balancing things correctly etc.