To me, your examples at the micro level don’t make the case that you can’t solve a problem at the level it’s created. I’m agnostic as to whether CBT or meta-cognitive therapy is better for intrusive thoughts, but lots of people like CBT; and as for ‘doing the dishes’, in my household we did solve the problem of conflicts around chores by making a spreadsheet. And to the extent that working on communication styles is helpful, that’s because people (I’d claim) have a problem at the level of communication styles.
To me, your examples at the micro level don’t make the case that you can’t solve a problem at the level it’s created. I’m agnostic as to whether CBT or meta-cognitive therapy is better for intrusive thoughts, but lots of people like CBT; and as for ‘doing the dishes’, in my household we did solve the problem of conflicts around chores by making a spreadsheet. And to the extent that working on communication styles is helpful, that’s because people (I’d claim) have a problem at the level of communication styles.