I thought this was lovely, Lizka! I wasn’t expecting to see a picture-book-type entry in this contest, so thank you for that.
My biggest suggestion would be that I’m seeing several picture books presented in your story as it is right now. How did Black Bird make the decision to peck at the little tree? What were some counterarguments from the birds swarming the man with an axe? I feel like you could draw each scenario you presented out into a full picture book with a clearer central conflict. This could also help draw older readers in, and perhaps address the ‘preachy’ vibe some commenters mentioned.
I’m immediately reminded of The Little Red Hen—which focuses on not sharing bread with others. Written during the social-Darwin-ish Gilded Age, it was popular during the Reagan administration as a tool for illustrating the dangers of welfare. I’m seeing some evidence that Reagan even rewrote the story as an ‘economics lesson’ for a 1976 radio program. Birds + bread seem to be good parable fodder, perhaps?
I thought this was lovely, Lizka! I wasn’t expecting to see a picture-book-type entry in this contest, so thank you for that.
My biggest suggestion would be that I’m seeing several picture books presented in your story as it is right now. How did Black Bird make the decision to peck at the little tree? What were some counterarguments from the birds swarming the man with an axe? I feel like you could draw each scenario you presented out into a full picture book with a clearer central conflict. This could also help draw older readers in, and perhaps address the ‘preachy’ vibe some commenters mentioned.
I’m immediately reminded of The Little Red Hen—which focuses on not sharing bread with others. Written during the social-Darwin-ish Gilded Age, it was popular during the Reagan administration as a tool for illustrating the dangers of welfare. I’m seeing some evidence that Reagan even rewrote the story as an ‘economics lesson’ for a 1976 radio program. Birds + bread seem to be good parable fodder, perhaps?