Side-note: the OP says “Wildly unusual social practices like polyamory”, but I think poly is fairly common in the Bay Area outside of EA/rat circles.
I suspect it’s fairly common in other young, blue-tribe, urban contexts in the US too? (Especially if we treat “polyamorous”, “non-monogamous”, and many “monogamish” relationship styles as more-or-less the same phenomenon.)
Rob—yes, among under-30s in the US, UK, and Europe, consensual non-monogamy is pretty popular; good reliable data are hard to come by, but it’s certainly NOT the case that polyamory is a ‘wildly unusual social practice’.
The most recent Census-based quota sample (Moors et al, 2021) of single adults in the US (N = 3,438) shows that about 17% of people would like to engage in polyamory, and about 11% have done so at some point. (Compare that to circa 4.5% of Americans being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans). So, polyamory as a relationship orientation is arguably about as common as (or maybe more common than) gay/lesbian as a sexual orientation.
Side-note: the OP says “Wildly unusual social practices like polyamory”, but I think poly is fairly common in the Bay Area outside of EA/rat circles.
I suspect it’s fairly common in other young, blue-tribe, urban contexts in the US too? (Especially if we treat “polyamorous”, “non-monogamous”, and many “monogamish” relationship styles as more-or-less the same phenomenon.)
I’ve heard this argument before but I think it’s quite overstated. I grew up in the SF Bay Area and still am in touch with many friends from childhood. They are generally young, blue-tribe, urban/suburban, etc.
Of that group, I think zero of them are polyamorous, with perhaps one exception (though I’m not sure if this person actually practices polyamory or has merely thought about doing so/been attracted to the idea) -- and that one exception is also the one member of the group, other than myself, with by far the most contact with the Bay Area rationality/EA scene.
(Of course, it’s possible and perhaps indeed somewhat likely that some people I knew in childhood are now polyamorous but I haven’t learned about this, as they keep it quiet or we’ve fallen out of contact or whatever? But it certainly does not seem to be a big mainstream thing.)
Third Generation Bay Area, here—and, if you aren’t going to college at Berkeley or swirling in the small cliques of SF among 800,000 people living there, yeah, not a lot of polycules. I remember when Occupy oozed its way through here that left a residue of ‘say-anything-polyamorists’ who were excited to share their ‘pick-up artist’ techniques when only other men where present. “Gurus abuse naïve hopefuls for sex” has been a recurring theme of the Bay, every few decades, but the locals don’t buy it.
Side-note: the OP says “Wildly unusual social practices like polyamory”, but I think poly is fairly common in the Bay Area outside of EA/rat circles.
I suspect it’s fairly common in other young, blue-tribe, urban contexts in the US too? (Especially if we treat “polyamorous”, “non-monogamous”, and many “monogamish” relationship styles as more-or-less the same phenomenon.)
Rob—yes, among under-30s in the US, UK, and Europe, consensual non-monogamy is pretty popular; good reliable data are hard to come by, but it’s certainly NOT the case that polyamory is a ‘wildly unusual social practice’.
The most recent Census-based quota sample (Moors et al, 2021) of single adults in the US (N = 3,438) shows that about 17% of people would like to engage in polyamory, and about 11% have done so at some point. (Compare that to circa 4.5% of Americans being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans). So, polyamory as a relationship orientation is arguably about as common as (or maybe more common than) gay/lesbian as a sexual orientation.
I’ve heard this argument before but I think it’s quite overstated. I grew up in the SF Bay Area and still am in touch with many friends from childhood. They are generally young, blue-tribe, urban/suburban, etc.
Of that group, I think zero of them are polyamorous, with perhaps one exception (though I’m not sure if this person actually practices polyamory or has merely thought about doing so/been attracted to the idea) -- and that one exception is also the one member of the group, other than myself, with by far the most contact with the Bay Area rationality/EA scene.
(Of course, it’s possible and perhaps indeed somewhat likely that some people I knew in childhood are now polyamorous but I haven’t learned about this, as they keep it quiet or we’ve fallen out of contact or whatever? But it certainly does not seem to be a big mainstream thing.)
Third Generation Bay Area, here—and, if you aren’t going to college at Berkeley or swirling in the small cliques of SF among 800,000 people living there, yeah, not a lot of polycules. I remember when Occupy oozed its way through here that left a residue of ‘say-anything-polyamorists’ who were excited to share their ‘pick-up artist’ techniques when only other men where present. “Gurus abuse naïve hopefuls for sex” has been a recurring theme of the Bay, every few decades, but the locals don’t buy it.