As a poly person whose main relationship over the last seven years has been with a non-rationalist non-EA, I want to say:
Ingroup and outgroup people are both great. I think it would impoverish the community, and be a tragic loss of a lot of beautiful friendships and relationships, if people tried hard to avoid dating anyone from one group or the other.
(I’m interested in the counter-argument, and don’t mean to use platitudes to shout down what sounds like a complicated model I don’t yet understand. But I wanted to at least voice my view.
Normally I would feel less need to speak up and note disagreement, but right now I think a lot of EAs are feeling a lot of emotional conflict and shame about various EA-related things, so I’m unusually wary of pushes for people to cut ties with tons of their friends or partners or radically restructure their life based on a high-level theory about what’s good for them.
I think this is a good discussion to have, but I want to encourage EAs to be skeptical of contentful one-size-fits-all arguments about what’s good for them, compared to their own individual-specific sense of what’s helping them flourish in life. I trust individuals to build up self-expertise and steer by their taste more than I trust relationship or sociology experts to give useful advice.)
As a poly person whose main relationship over the last seven years has been with a non-rationalist non-EA, I want to say:
Ingroup and outgroup people are both great. I think it would impoverish the community, and be a tragic loss of a lot of beautiful friendships and relationships, if people tried hard to avoid dating anyone from one group or the other.
(I’m interested in the counter-argument, and don’t mean to use platitudes to shout down what sounds like a complicated model I don’t yet understand. But I wanted to at least voice my view.
Normally I would feel less need to speak up and note disagreement, but right now I think a lot of EAs are feeling a lot of emotional conflict and shame about various EA-related things, so I’m unusually wary of pushes for people to cut ties with tons of their friends or partners or radically restructure their life based on a high-level theory about what’s good for them.
I think this is a good discussion to have, but I want to encourage EAs to be skeptical of contentful one-size-fits-all arguments about what’s good for them, compared to their own individual-specific sense of what’s helping them flourish in life. I trust individuals to build up self-expertise and steer by their taste more than I trust relationship or sociology experts to give useful advice.)