The concept of âfound familyâ or âchosen familyâ is a common concept among LGBT people, who are more likely than non-LGBT people to be estranged from their families of origin. This concept elevates important relationships beyond the word âfriendâ, which often doesnât do enough to convey the love and mutual dependence that exists in these relationships.
Relatedly, the terms âqueerplatonic partnerâ or âplatonic life partnerâ can emphasize the seriousness of a relationship more than the term âbest friendâ might.
Polyamory also offers a path toward more close attachments, and not just of the romantic or sexual kind. If someone is your metamour â your partnerâs partner â that can put you on the fast track to close friendship. For people with kids, I hear that a polycule can be like a modern replacement for a large extended family, where there are lots of adults around to give kids love and attention.
Many people would say that love is the purpose of life and I think a core insight is that the difference between the different kinds of love â romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, or familial â is not as important as the fact that love exists and it is allowed to express itself. I think compulsory heterosexuality and monogamy often get in the way of that. If people werenât worried that love and affection with their friends might cross a line into being gay or constitute cheating on their partner, then people would be a lot less inhibited about loving their friends and expressing that love.
The concept of âfound familyâ or âchosen familyâ is a common concept among LGBT people, who are more likely than non-LGBT people to be estranged from their families of origin. This concept elevates important relationships beyond the word âfriendâ, which often doesnât do enough to convey the love and mutual dependence that exists in these relationships.
Relatedly, the terms âqueerplatonic partnerâ or âplatonic life partnerâ can emphasize the seriousness of a relationship more than the term âbest friendâ might.
Polyamory also offers a path toward more close attachments, and not just of the romantic or sexual kind. If someone is your metamour â your partnerâs partner â that can put you on the fast track to close friendship. For people with kids, I hear that a polycule can be like a modern replacement for a large extended family, where there are lots of adults around to give kids love and attention.
Many people would say that love is the purpose of life and I think a core insight is that the difference between the different kinds of love â romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, or familial â is not as important as the fact that love exists and it is allowed to express itself. I think compulsory heterosexuality and monogamy often get in the way of that. If people werenât worried that love and affection with their friends might cross a line into being gay or constitute cheating on their partner, then people would be a lot less inhibited about loving their friends and expressing that love.