To be frank, if the rules were very detailed and very different from my usual behavior patterns I would have trouble following them. My brain, you see, simply works on autopilot a huge proportion of time. If there are just a couple of rules which would require me to alter my behavior, sure, I will remember about them and do my best to follow. If there are too many—it will be just super hard for me to memorize it and could make me super anxious that I’ll break some rule because I forgot it!
My interest is more in writing down rules that already exist. So that shouldn’t change anything about the rules except that there’s a place where one can check what they are.
This ties in with:
Believing that your values and behavior associated with your culture and class are the only right ones and everybody should know, understand and follow them, is fundamentally different from assertively vocalizing your boundaries and needs. The second is a great, mature behavior. The first feels a bit elitist, ignorant and has nothing to do with safety, equality and being inclusive.
It’s basically a third alternative. Not assuming that all rules are universally known, not figuring out what the boundaries are on a case-by-case, person-by-person basis, but collaboratively writing down some set of rules that has already emerged. I imagine (hope) almost all of them will be super obvious so that we don’t need to memorize them.
To be frank, if the rules were very detailed and very different from my usual behavior patterns I would have trouble following them. My brain, you see, simply works on autopilot a huge proportion of time. If there are just a couple of rules which would require me to alter my behavior, sure, I will remember about them and do my best to follow. If there are too many—it will be just super hard for me to memorize it and could make me super anxious that I’ll break some rule because I forgot it!
My interest is more in writing down rules that already exist. So that shouldn’t change anything about the rules except that there’s a place where one can check what they are.
This ties in with:
It’s basically a third alternative. Not assuming that all rules are universally known, not figuring out what the boundaries are on a case-by-case, person-by-person basis, but collaboratively writing down some set of rules that has already emerged. I imagine (hope) almost all of them will be super obvious so that we don’t need to memorize them.