This is brave of you to share. It sounds like there are a few related issues going on. I have a few thoughts that may or may not be helpful:
Firstly, you want to do well and improve in your work, and you want some feedback on that from people who are informed and have good judgment. The obvious candidates in the EA ecosystem are people who actually aren’t well suited to give this feedback to you. This is tough. I don’t have any advice to give you here.
However it also sounds like there are some therapeutic issues at play. You mention therapists as a favored option but one you’re not satisfied with and I’m wondering why? Personally I suspect that making progress on any therapeutic issues that may be at play may also end up helping with the professional feedback problem.
I think you’ve unfairly dismissed the best option as to who you can trust: yourself. That you have biases and flaws is not an argument against trusting yourself because everyone and everything has biases and flaws! Which person or AI are you going to find that doesn’t have some inherent bias or ability to Goodhart?
This is brave of you to share. It sounds like there are a few related issues going on. I have a few thoughts that may or may not be helpful:
Firstly, you want to do well and improve in your work, and you want some feedback on that from people who are informed and have good judgment. The obvious candidates in the EA ecosystem are people who actually aren’t well suited to give this feedback to you. This is tough. I don’t have any advice to give you here.
However it also sounds like there are some therapeutic issues at play. You mention therapists as a favored option but one you’re not satisfied with and I’m wondering why? Personally I suspect that making progress on any therapeutic issues that may be at play may also end up helping with the professional feedback problem.
I think you’ve unfairly dismissed the best option as to who you can trust: yourself. That you have biases and flaws is not an argument against trusting yourself because everyone and everything has biases and flaws! Which person or AI are you going to find that doesn’t have some inherent bias or ability to Goodhart?