Great post Jess! I agree, it’s so important that we give each other positive feedback as well as criticism (constructive or otherwise). I suspect sometimes we feel it’s tougher, stronger or somehow virtuous not to need support, but for many people the need or desire for peer approval and support is a real one.
I suspect sometimes we feel it’s tougher, stronger or somehow virtuous not to need support
Yeah, agree. I think the solution to this is just for more people to stand up and admit they need support, and for us to reward those people for doing so, so that it becomes more socially acceptable. This can be hard to do though, of course. But it’s easy to forget that everyone is trying to project their most confident image, and that we may not always be as confident as we try to project!
Is hiding emotional struggle to appear stronger considered more valuable in effective altruist communities? I hope not. I mean, it’s valued in all sorts of communities, so I understand if by some wacky process it became an implicit norm without anybody noticing. However, I don’t believe it’s conducive to what Jess’ original post is getting across.
Not letting our emotions sway our decisions about, e.g., cost-effectiveness is one thing. However, ‘supportive skepticism’ is on the other side of being an effective altruist: personal motivation. If people feel mentally paralyzed, then the effective thing to do for the heart is to be more supportive of each other. Being ashamed of some self-doubt shouldn’t be normalized in this community. I would find it odd to discover an effective altruist who never reconsidered their decisions.
I’m going to normalize being open with each other by expressing my need for support, and praising others for sharing.
Great post Jess! I agree, it’s so important that we give each other positive feedback as well as criticism (constructive or otherwise). I suspect sometimes we feel it’s tougher, stronger or somehow virtuous not to need support, but for many people the need or desire for peer approval and support is a real one.
Thanks Dette :)
Yeah, agree. I think the solution to this is just for more people to stand up and admit they need support, and for us to reward those people for doing so, so that it becomes more socially acceptable. This can be hard to do though, of course. But it’s easy to forget that everyone is trying to project their most confident image, and that we may not always be as confident as we try to project!
Is hiding emotional struggle to appear stronger considered more valuable in effective altruist communities? I hope not. I mean, it’s valued in all sorts of communities, so I understand if by some wacky process it became an implicit norm without anybody noticing. However, I don’t believe it’s conducive to what Jess’ original post is getting across.
Not letting our emotions sway our decisions about, e.g., cost-effectiveness is one thing. However, ‘supportive skepticism’ is on the other side of being an effective altruist: personal motivation. If people feel mentally paralyzed, then the effective thing to do for the heart is to be more supportive of each other. Being ashamed of some self-doubt shouldn’t be normalized in this community. I would find it odd to discover an effective altruist who never reconsidered their decisions.
I’m going to normalize being open with each other by expressing my need for support, and praising others for sharing.