Sorry for being a downer, but I want to push back on the subtext that it’s (always) good for people to be willing to “lend a helping hand, whether it’s sending a message, reviewing a draft or hopping onto a call?”
My rough thoughts:
Some people say yes to too many things and don’t value their time highly enough.
Sometimes, it’s the right call for someone to say no to helping others in their immediate environment.
It’s often hard to say no, even when it’s the right call.
I’m worried about a culture where {saying yes to peoples’ requests} --> {you’re a nice and helpful person} --> {it’s good that you’re an EA because you’re warm and welcoming}.
I’m worried about the message “EA is warm and welcoming because people are willing to give you their time” making it harder for people to say no.
This might not be super relevant—especially if most of the audience would err on the side of not asking for help.
But just wanted to comment because it came to mind.
The overall message of “people are kind and not scary and probably willing to help” is a nice one though!
Thanks for pointing this out, it is an important consideration, and this might not be a good exercise depending on the audience present.
For EAGxSG, it was definitely being more afraid that the audience would err on the side of not asking for help. I also checked with some experienced EAs at the conference on whether or not this was something I should mention. Context: The attendees of EAGxSG were mainly from areas without large established EA communities (Africa, Asia, Middle East), and many of them would likely not be able to go to other conferences due to visa issues or other factors. This meant they would have to reach out directly to other EAs solely based on their (scarier) internet profiles without opportunities to build rapport or meet people in more casual social settings.
Part of it was also because this is a talk, and asking a longer question with caveats might mean that I lose the audience’s attention. The initial thought was probably more of ‘If you had the emotional bandwidth, time, work capacity and ability to help an EA, putting aside any imposter syndrome, would you?’
Yes, I would be hesitant about putting my hand up (I’d help with some things, but not others, what exactly is being asked?) but I’d be really embarrassed if everyone else was putting their hands up and I didn’t.
Congrats for organising EAGx—that’s huge! :)
Sorry for being a downer, but I want to push back on the subtext that it’s (always) good for people to be willing to “lend a helping hand, whether it’s sending a message, reviewing a draft or hopping onto a call?”
My rough thoughts:
Some people say yes to too many things and don’t value their time highly enough.
Sometimes, it’s the right call for someone to say no to helping others in their immediate environment.
It’s often hard to say no, even when it’s the right call.
I’m worried about a culture where {saying yes to peoples’ requests} --> {you’re a nice and helpful person} --> {it’s good that you’re an EA because you’re warm and welcoming}.
I’m worried about the message “EA is warm and welcoming because people are willing to give you their time” making it harder for people to say no.
This might not be super relevant—especially if most of the audience would err on the side of not asking for help.
But just wanted to comment because it came to mind.
The overall message of “people are kind and not scary and probably willing to help” is a nice one though!
Thanks for pointing this out, it is an important consideration, and this might not be a good exercise depending on the audience present.
For EAGxSG, it was definitely being more afraid that the audience would err on the side of not asking for help. I also checked with some experienced EAs at the conference on whether or not this was something I should mention. Context: The attendees of EAGxSG were mainly from areas without large established EA communities (Africa, Asia, Middle East), and many of them would likely not be able to go to other conferences due to visa issues or other factors. This meant they would have to reach out directly to other EAs solely based on their (scarier) internet profiles without opportunities to build rapport or meet people in more casual social settings.
Part of it was also because this is a talk, and asking a longer question with caveats might mean that I lose the audience’s attention. The initial thought was probably more of ‘If you had the emotional bandwidth, time, work capacity and ability to help an EA, putting aside any imposter syndrome, would you?’
Ah nice, I was missing that context. Yup, the angle of confidence building seems good for this audience.
Yes, I would be hesitant about putting my hand up (I’d help with some things, but not others, what exactly is being asked?) but I’d be really embarrassed if everyone else was putting their hands up and I didn’t.