Policing the differentials in the “soft power” of other people’s relationships is precisely the sort of busybodying that I find so toxic and intrusive. Are rich, well-connected, influential people only allowed to date other rich, well-connected, influential people? That’s the logical conclusion of this line of reasoning and it strikes me as ugly. Besides, soft power is complicated and sometimes the person who looks more powerful from the outside is less powerful in the relationship. But more importantly, if you are not in the relationship, it is not your business.
Of course if a person is pushy or unwilling to take a no, then it’s not a matter of consenting adults and it’s a different story.
Enforcing some sort of social sanction against other people’s private relationships on the basis of power differentials seems just incredibly outside the realm of common decency or healthy boundaries.
Policing the differentials in the “soft power” of other people’s relationships is precisely the sort of busybodying that I find so toxic and intrusive. Are rich, well-connected, influential people only allowed to date other rich, well-connected, influential people? That’s the logical conclusion of this line of reasoning and it strikes me as ugly. Besides, soft power is complicated and sometimes the person who looks more powerful from the outside is less powerful in the relationship. But more importantly, if you are not in the relationship, it is not your business.
Of course if a person is pushy or unwilling to take a no, then it’s not a matter of consenting adults and it’s a different story.
Enforcing some sort of social sanction against other people’s private relationships on the basis of power differentials seems just incredibly outside the realm of common decency or healthy boundaries.