the level of care and effort that I express toward you should be roughly proportional to the level of effort and care that you express toward me
maybe a version of this that is more durable to the considerations in your footnote is: the level of care and effort that I ask from you should be roughly proportional to the level that I express towards you
if I ask for not much care and effort and get a lot, that perhaps should be a prompt to figure out if I should have done more to protect my counterpart from overinvesting, if I accidentally overpromised or miscommunicated, but ultimately there’s only so much responsibility you can take for other people’s decisions
maybe a version of this that is more durable to the considerations in your footnote is: the level of care and effort that I ask from you should be roughly proportional to the level that I express towards you
if I ask for not much care and effort and get a lot, that perhaps should be a prompt to figure out if I should have done more to protect my counterpart from overinvesting, if I accidentally overpromised or miscommunicated, but ultimately there’s only so much responsibility you can take for other people’s decisions