I am quite new to EA and here are some of my novice thoughts reading this post:
I am non white and non male and usually have a very low threshold for when social gatherings make me feel aware of those two facts. EA community has hardly made me feel so.
I am neurodivergent as well, my partner for the last 2 years was too. I’d say I am more emotionally present than outright Aspergers. I have seen that my requests to consider emotions and rational explanations for them have been well appreciated and incorporated into actions by my partner. Our relationship gets stronger the more it is talked about. The phrasing of ‘shouldnt do Xyz cz it will alienate aspy EAs’ is very biased IMO. And counterproductive to the issue
As much as we hate it, EA has a status issue. EA forum is a place for elite (written) stuff. I have heard people say they hate posts talking about emotional stuff/experiences or anything that is not jargon or math heavy. I don’t know what to do about it, I am just saying OPs experience rings a bell.
I have been hit on at EAGs when not seeking that, it is as annoying as it ever is. I usually brush it off by rationalising that the person probably has a terrible social radar (aspy) and doesn’t know how to not act. Hence I don’t report it thinking ‘probably wasnt their intention’. I realise doing so never addresses the issue
As someone who has been broken up with before because someone acted on a joke told to them in a very serious 80k career call, cz they thought that was the right thing to do even if that broke them, I know that groups running EA cannot entirely control the actions of aspy members. But EAs do respond to well rounded discussions and numbers. We just need to open up dialogue about this.
I recently worked for an EA organization and went in expecting loving caring environment to solve the best problems. I left feeling burnt out, unheard and drowned in the religiousness of the cause. Might be an isolated singular experience but I was tired of feeling guilty for taking time off for myself. Even though doing that was highly encouraged explicitly.
-How many new EAs have stopped doing things that they derived pleasure from after joining? Stopped having out with Non-EA friends because ‘they don’t get it’ or ‘its too much to explain’. How many miss both things? - good polling qns IMO. Go out and grab a boba tea with that one friend that chats a lot about Netflix. You will be fine. Better even.
(I have written this in bed without being mindful of using jargon to appeal to a certain group of people. I intended to do that.)
I am quite new to EA and here are some of my novice thoughts reading this post:
I am non white and non male and usually have a very low threshold for when social gatherings make me feel aware of those two facts. EA community has hardly made me feel so.
I am neurodivergent as well, my partner for the last 2 years was too. I’d say I am more emotionally present than outright Aspergers. I have seen that my requests to consider emotions and rational explanations for them have been well appreciated and incorporated into actions by my partner. Our relationship gets stronger the more it is talked about. The phrasing of ‘shouldnt do Xyz cz it will alienate aspy EAs’ is very biased IMO. And counterproductive to the issue
As much as we hate it, EA has a status issue. EA forum is a place for elite (written) stuff. I have heard people say they hate posts talking about emotional stuff/experiences or anything that is not jargon or math heavy. I don’t know what to do about it, I am just saying OPs experience rings a bell.
I have been hit on at EAGs when not seeking that, it is as annoying as it ever is. I usually brush it off by rationalising that the person probably has a terrible social radar (aspy) and doesn’t know how to not act. Hence I don’t report it thinking ‘probably wasnt their intention’. I realise doing so never addresses the issue
As someone who has been broken up with before because someone acted on a joke told to them in a very serious 80k career call, cz they thought that was the right thing to do even if that broke them, I know that groups running EA cannot entirely control the actions of aspy members. But EAs do respond to well rounded discussions and numbers. We just need to open up dialogue about this.
I recently worked for an EA organization and went in expecting loving caring environment to solve the best problems. I left feeling burnt out, unheard and drowned in the religiousness of the cause. Might be an isolated singular experience but I was tired of feeling guilty for taking time off for myself. Even though doing that was highly encouraged explicitly. -How many new EAs have stopped doing things that they derived pleasure from after joining? Stopped having out with Non-EA friends because ‘they don’t get it’ or ‘its too much to explain’. How many miss both things? - good polling qns IMO. Go out and grab a boba tea with that one friend that chats a lot about Netflix. You will be fine. Better even.
(I have written this in bed without being mindful of using jargon to appeal to a certain group of people. I intended to do that.)