As someone who has struggled with these issues in the past, I’m just replying to let you know there are definitely others in the community that struggle with this.
Certainly not qualified to give you advice but what helped for me was:
1. Not worrying about staying sober “long-term” just removing it as “something I do”. I found I also was finding lame excuses so it helped to just think on a day-to-day basis that it just isn’t an option for me was the only way to not drink.
2. For myself, I found that most external resources were not very helpful since they all inevitably revolved around thinking about drinking and discussing drinking, they were not useful for me and didn’t assist me much, however many others find them helpful.
3. Actively removing myself from situations (bars, afterwork events etc) that heavily involve alcohol and replacing these with situations where alcohol was not helpful (playing complicated boardgames and fitness)
4. Trying my best to identify sources of significant stress and tension in my life and remove that stress. (this meant taking a pay cut in the end for a less stressful job as this was stress mostly through work)
Thanks, I appreciate the organization and frankness of this comment, so I will replicate it:
I think this is what helps most for me too, on the days I consider it completely off the table, I don’t think about it so much. The same is true on days when I am generally in a more hopeful state of mind, but right now I am gradually decreasing the amount I drink to avoid serious withdrawal problems, which is proving difficult
Since I’ve never been to one I’m unsure about this, but I feel like I can understand it
I very rarely go to events like this, and almost always drink alone. Arguably the original source, and one of the continuing risk factors for me, is day to day loneliness
This, I think, is my therapist’s main strategy, which I am more skeptical of but don’t think is valueless, which is one reason I’m reluctant to search for a new one
As someone who has struggled with these issues in the past, I’m just replying to let you know there are definitely others in the community that struggle with this.
Certainly not qualified to give you advice but what helped for me was:
1. Not worrying about staying sober “long-term” just removing it as “something I do”. I found I also was finding lame excuses so it helped to just think on a day-to-day basis that it just isn’t an option for me was the only way to not drink.
2. For myself, I found that most external resources were not very helpful since they all inevitably revolved around thinking about drinking and discussing drinking, they were not useful for me and didn’t assist me much, however many others find them helpful.
3. Actively removing myself from situations (bars, afterwork events etc) that heavily involve alcohol and replacing these with situations where alcohol was not helpful (playing complicated boardgames and fitness)
4. Trying my best to identify sources of significant stress and tension in my life and remove that stress. (this meant taking a pay cut in the end for a less stressful job as this was stress mostly through work)
Thanks, I appreciate the organization and frankness of this comment, so I will replicate it:
I think this is what helps most for me too, on the days I consider it completely off the table, I don’t think about it so much. The same is true on days when I am generally in a more hopeful state of mind, but right now I am gradually decreasing the amount I drink to avoid serious withdrawal problems, which is proving difficult
Since I’ve never been to one I’m unsure about this, but I feel like I can understand it
I very rarely go to events like this, and almost always drink alone. Arguably the original source, and one of the continuing risk factors for me, is day to day loneliness
This, I think, is my therapist’s main strategy, which I am more skeptical of but don’t think is valueless, which is one reason I’m reluctant to search for a new one