I feel a very similar way. Every so often I get that feeling and excitement again about doing so much good, and after reading some posts and listening to podcasts for a few days, I get incredibly depressed because I donāt study at Oxford and Iām not good at mathematics and I even struggle to make a okay-ish cost-benefit analysis for very basic things and I have no idea how to take all those seemingly complicated things like moral uncertainty into count. Itās just exhausting.
But it has also taught me a lot things that I previously thought differently, less rationally about (like nuclea, organic farming, technology in general, ā¦). Except a lot of that came all at once and it was very overwhelming that it made me feel very lost (and to this day still does). Iād love to do more good, but I feel that the only way of doing that is completely throwing my life around and leaving all my family and friends for something in a country far away that has a tiny chance of succeeding, but with very big rewards if it does.
I study geography, something Iām very interested in, but (un)fortunately there are not a lot of neglected existential problems in those fields of science. I see a lot of other people writing about comparative advantage in the comment section here, but I donāt really know where mine lies, or even how to figure out where mine is. Iāll admit that Iām scared that the conclusion might be that I have to drop out of university, something I donāt want to do. I could go study mathematics or physics, but Iād have an incredibly hard time there and I would not be happy for one second there. But it probably does also mean I can have a bigger impact. Is it then worth it? For the world, probably. For me, no.
The EA group in my country is very small, and really only exists in the capital. A forum post here explained how most students who are sympathetic to EA ideas havenāt heard of it. These things gave me the idea to go around lecture halls in the beginning of the academic year and pitch EA to try and start a local group. I do think Iām half-decent at giving oral presentations and I quite enjoy it. But say a couple of people reach out, what then? How does that all work and where would the comparative advantage of our group lie? I donāt have friends who are EA-sympathetic and I havenāt really made any connections since I started following EA about a year and a half ago. So Iād have to start an organization that I donāt fit in all by myself and somehow motivate people to join it and spend significant amounts of time and money on.
I have had some other ideas but again no connections to make it work or even pitch it to or even how to figure out if itās an idea thatās worth my time. EA has made me think and question a lot, but has failed to explain how to find answers to those questions. Iām sorry for this rather incoherent rant that talks only about myself. These thoughts have been on my mind for many months, but Iāve never really had the chance to express them to people who might understand. I hope some poeple here do.
This isnāt what you intended by posting this, but I think itās useful to say it anyways.
You sound discouraged in the same way that I used to be before I was involved in the EA community. It can be pretty hard to see where you fit in by looking at the forum and 80k. Getting help to plan my career and getting involved in the community really changed all of that for me by giving me direction and peers to relate to.
Hereās some things I really really encourage you to do, that I think will be helpful:
Go to an EA conference. Doesnāt matter if itās EAG or EAGx, just go and talk to as many people as you can. If you donāt have the money to travel, ask for monetary support. If youre unsure if youāre āEA enoughā to go, apply and let the conference holders decide for you.
Get some help making a rough career plan or steps to get enough knowledge to make that plan. EA knowledge is a lot to take in. My countryās EA group had people who were willing to learn about me and help me figure out what my options were. It really helped me find clarity in what I already could plan/ādecide, and what I needed to gather more information about.
Sorry that this is a bit of a mess, but I hope that its at least somewhat helpful
Donāt worry, it is a fine answer and probably has more structure than what I wrote, so good job on that :D
Iām going to an EA meetup of the few people that do exist in EA in my country for the first time, Iām very much looking forward to what they have to say. Thanks for the reply!
Thank you for this comment! Itās really great to know Iām not alone with thisāand I hope you start to find your way, I know how confusing it can feel to be completely lost. Iād love to connect with you. I will send a DM!
Thank you so much for writing this.
I feel a very similar way. Every so often I get that feeling and excitement again about doing so much good, and after reading some posts and listening to podcasts for a few days, I get incredibly depressed because I donāt study at Oxford and Iām not good at mathematics and I even struggle to make a okay-ish cost-benefit analysis for very basic things and I have no idea how to take all those seemingly complicated things like moral uncertainty into count. Itās just exhausting.
But it has also taught me a lot things that I previously thought differently, less rationally about (like nuclea, organic farming, technology in general, ā¦). Except a lot of that came all at once and it was very overwhelming that it made me feel very lost (and to this day still does). Iād love to do more good, but I feel that the only way of doing that is completely throwing my life around and leaving all my family and friends for something in a country far away that has a tiny chance of succeeding, but with very big rewards if it does.
I study geography, something Iām very interested in, but (un)fortunately there are not a lot of neglected existential problems in those fields of science. I see a lot of other people writing about comparative advantage in the comment section here, but I donāt really know where mine lies, or even how to figure out where mine is. Iāll admit that Iām scared that the conclusion might be that I have to drop out of university, something I donāt want to do. I could go study mathematics or physics, but Iād have an incredibly hard time there and I would not be happy for one second there. But it probably does also mean I can have a bigger impact. Is it then worth it? For the world, probably. For me, no.
The EA group in my country is very small, and really only exists in the capital. A forum post here explained how most students who are sympathetic to EA ideas havenāt heard of it. These things gave me the idea to go around lecture halls in the beginning of the academic year and pitch EA to try and start a local group. I do think Iām half-decent at giving oral presentations and I quite enjoy it. But say a couple of people reach out, what then? How does that all work and where would the comparative advantage of our group lie? I donāt have friends who are EA-sympathetic and I havenāt really made any connections since I started following EA about a year and a half ago. So Iād have to start an organization that I donāt fit in all by myself and somehow motivate people to join it and spend significant amounts of time and money on.
I have had some other ideas but again no connections to make it work or even pitch it to or even how to figure out if itās an idea thatās worth my time. EA has made me think and question a lot, but has failed to explain how to find answers to those questions. Iām sorry for this rather incoherent rant that talks only about myself. These thoughts have been on my mind for many months, but Iāve never really had the chance to express them to people who might understand. I hope some poeple here do.
This isnāt what you intended by posting this, but I think itās useful to say it anyways.
You sound discouraged in the same way that I used to be before I was involved in the EA community. It can be pretty hard to see where you fit in by looking at the forum and 80k. Getting help to plan my career and getting involved in the community really changed all of that for me by giving me direction and peers to relate to.
Hereās some things I really really encourage you to do, that I think will be helpful:
Go to an EA conference. Doesnāt matter if itās EAG or EAGx, just go and talk to as many people as you can. If you donāt have the money to travel, ask for monetary support. If youre unsure if youāre āEA enoughā to go, apply and let the conference holders decide for you.
Get some help making a rough career plan or steps to get enough knowledge to make that plan. EA knowledge is a lot to take in. My countryās EA group had people who were willing to learn about me and help me figure out what my options were. It really helped me find clarity in what I already could plan/ādecide, and what I needed to gather more information about.
Sorry that this is a bit of a mess, but I hope that its at least somewhat helpful
Donāt worry, it is a fine answer and probably has more structure than what I wrote, so good job on that :D
Iām going to an EA meetup of the few people that do exist in EA in my country for the first time, Iām very much looking forward to what they have to say. Thanks for the reply!
Thank you for this comment! Itās really great to know Iām not alone with thisāand I hope you start to find your way, I know how confusing it can feel to be completely lost. Iād love to connect with you. I will send a DM!