I understand your hesitance about board-profusion, but this seems like a reasonably clear-cut case in which a layer of non-public decision-making is necessary to manage COIs in a responsible way.
One possibility is having the CEA trustees do this, alongside the oversight they already provide.
I’m not sure information about past romantic/sexual relationships/metamourships should ever be made public.
not a healthy community norm
reputational hazards for individuals, the fund, and the community
grantees might be discouraged from applying due to concerns about publicizing their personal lives
individuals might feel pressured into publicly disclosing personal information in order to make or receive a grant, or might later come to regret publicly disclosing the information
large scope for unforeseen negative consequences
An external board should be available to deal with situations like this—they can then either insist on recusal, or judge the COI not to be a problem.