FWIW, I read your post and appreciated it. (I’m the same Kip who commented on it when you posted it initially. Hi!)
But “Men who upset women in EA don’t care about women’s feelings” was roughly one of my takeaways from the post! So I don’t think it’s an unfair interpretation. I didn’t see it as the main thesis, but I found that point interesting and memorable.
Here’s the snippet that gave me that takeaway (emphasis added by me):
> it turned out, the problem wasn’t that my cues were too difficult to read. Or that I was too passive or too fawning or too inarticulate. That was mostly a convenient story. The problem was: they did not care what I wanted if it contradicted what they wanted.
The above snippet makes it sound like EA guys were fully blaming you for communication issues, and they didn’t care what you wanted. And it seems to claim that their lack-of-care was the core problem.
OP sounds like a counter example for this pattern; he (at least partly) blames himself for being clumsy, and expresses (in many ways) that he did actually care about “what they wanted.”
FWIW, I read your post and appreciated it. (I’m the same Kip who commented on it when you posted it initially. Hi!)
But “Men who upset women in EA don’t care about women’s feelings” was roughly one of my takeaways from the post! So I don’t think it’s an unfair interpretation. I didn’t see it as the main thesis, but I found that point interesting and memorable.
Here’s the snippet that gave me that takeaway (emphasis added by me):
> it turned out, the problem wasn’t that my cues were too difficult to read. Or that I was too passive or too fawning or too inarticulate. That was mostly a convenient story. The problem was: they did not care what I wanted if it contradicted what they wanted.
The above snippet makes it sound like EA guys were fully blaming you for communication issues, and they didn’t care what you wanted. And it seems to claim that their lack-of-care was the core problem.
OP sounds like a counter example for this pattern; he (at least partly) blames himself for being clumsy, and expresses (in many ways) that he did actually care about “what they wanted.”