Hi Catherine, that is very kind of you; thank you so much! I wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your support and also that I might be a little slow to reply occasionally due to the number of things I have going on right now, but that I’ll be sure to check back and keep on it.
Maddie
Karma: 37
Hi There! I’m using a pseudonym here because I, too, fear retaliation for speaking about my experience, as my abuser is still involved in the EA movement and is friends with at least one staff member involved in investigating these claims.
This abuser is fairly well known in other communities for his behavior and has been ejected from many of them. Below are some things he has done, which I have either experienced first hand or been party to via his own admissions or those of his victims. (CW: Rape, abuse)I can confirm that some subset of the below claims were made known to EA staff in the past, and that I haven’t seen any evidence of anything having been done about it, aside from one of the victims being ostracized by EA staff. This unfortunately leads me to believe that this problem is in fact systemic within the EA community.
Problematic behaviors by the perpetrator:Doxxing a rape victim
Posting a rape victim’s restraining order online, falsely claiming that she was lying.
Encouraging online harassment of said rape victim in a manner that reached her professional colleagues.
Sexually assaulting multiple women
Drugging multiple women in a manner that caused at least one to black out
Spreading false information about his victims online and in person (smear campaigns), and pretending to be the victim himself (DARVO tactics)
Digitally falsifying evidence involved in smearing victims
Accessing victim(s) personal electronic devices to search for negative or incriminating information
Engaging in blackmail and intimidation
Swatting victim(s) (at home and at work)
Attempting to frame at least one of his victims for attempted murder
Obtaining assistance from other people in silencing and harming victims, using DARVO tactics (triangulation)
Attempting to convince victim(s) that they are crazy or have a personality disorder that makes them irrational (gaslighting)
Attempting to use autism as a cover for lack of empathy, blunted emotional responses regarding his behavior, and rages, and possibly to avoid suspicion regarding social manipulation tactics (Some communities suspect possible ASPD. Note: These traits are related to stereotypes some people have about autism, and they are harmful to people with autism.)
Generally, employing emotional and psychological abuse, threats, and other coercive tactics to control victims and prevent them from speaking out
For those who are reading this, thank you for your support on behalf of myself and others. It is important to address serious behaviors like these. In the absence of systemic organizational action to address such matters, it is especially important to for individuals to take action to ensure people who behave in such a manner are not involved in EA communities or allowed to use EA-related philosophies as a cover, and that their victims are made to feel welcome, safe, and empowered to speak about their experiences.
Hi Lauren, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I’m going to think a bit more about whether I can share his name without compromising myself or other people he has impacted. This will probably mean mostly going through official channels, but I may also be able to DM you after checking in with some people about whether it feels safe and appropriate to them. Thank you again for your kind and thoughtful reply. It means a lot.