Why not document the relationships between people in EA orgs? That might at least clarify things for people who are less central.
You can also document potential conflicts of interest (e.g. where someone hires someone they are in a relationship with), and write down the justifications for doing so.
It’s worth noting that some people (like me)! don’t join the in person EA community at all because the norms are so off-putting.
I expect they are particularly off-putting to monogamous mid career/late career professionals. And it seems to me that it would be good for EA if they had more experienced people around - stuff around risk management would probably improve.