I assumed it’s obvious to everyone that it’s a bad idea to make [things that are perceived as] unwanted romantic or sexual advances towards people, and that serious action should be taken if someone receives repeated complaints about that.
It reads like you’re saying that if you ask somebody out and they say no (aka unwanted romantic advances), that this is obviously bad and that serious action should be taken against you? This seems clearly wrong, because it would mean that virtually all people who’ve ever asked somebody out should have serious actions taken against them.
Or is it saying only to take serious actions if somebody makes repeated romantic advances despite the person saying they’re not interested?
If the latter, only one anonymous woman claims this happened to her (“In at least one case, Owen did not stop making repeated unwanted attempts at contact after being asked to do so”) and Owen says that he has written evidence that this didn’t happen (see the “On feedback” section).
Given that he’s been very forthcoming about everything else, so doesn’t seem to be hiding anything, that he says he has written evidence to the contrary, and it seems to go against most people who know him’s priors, I’m inclined to believe him until further evidence is provided.
Sorry, was being somewhat sloppy—I meant to broadly wave at “I think sexual harassment is bad”. More specifically could say: - It’s probably suboptimal ex post to make an unwanted romantic or sexual advance on someone, but it can definitely be reasonable ex ante— If it’s predictably unwanted then it’s probably bad ex ante - if it’s uncertain and the asker is in position of power / you are in professional setting / other person is esp likely to feel uncomfortable etc etc, then it’s probably a bad idea ex ante - If someone has a pattern of doing this and has received complaints about it then either they should update that they are bad at judging when this is ok and be really careful to steer pretty clear of this kind of thing - The community should in general take repeated complaints of this kind of thing pretty seriously and not let it be brushed off with “but this person is good in X way”, because some fraction of the time this is the tip of an iceberg of manipulative/abusive/harassing behavior, and is the best chance you’ll get to catch it - Even if you conclude it’s not part of a pattern of nefarious behavior, it’s still pretty costly to the community, and actions should be taken that provide high confidence it won’t continue happening
@lyra Can you clarify what you mean by this?
It reads like you’re saying that if you ask somebody out and they say no (aka unwanted romantic advances), that this is obviously bad and that serious action should be taken against you? This seems clearly wrong, because it would mean that virtually all people who’ve ever asked somebody out should have serious actions taken against them.
Or is it saying only to take serious actions if somebody makes repeated romantic advances despite the person saying they’re not interested?
If the latter, only one anonymous woman claims this happened to her (“In at least one case, Owen did not stop making repeated unwanted attempts at contact after being asked to do so”) and Owen says that he has written evidence that this didn’t happen (see the “On feedback” section).
Given that he’s been very forthcoming about everything else, so doesn’t seem to be hiding anything, that he says he has written evidence to the contrary, and it seems to go against most people who know him’s priors, I’m inclined to believe him until further evidence is provided.
Sorry, was being somewhat sloppy—I meant to broadly wave at “I think sexual harassment is bad”. More specifically could say:
- It’s probably suboptimal ex post to make an unwanted romantic or sexual advance on someone, but it can definitely be reasonable ex ante—
If it’s predictably unwanted then it’s probably bad ex ante
- if it’s uncertain and the asker is in position of power / you are in professional setting / other person is esp likely to feel uncomfortable etc etc, then it’s probably a bad idea ex ante
- If someone has a pattern of doing this and has received complaints about it then either they should update that they are bad at judging when this is ok and be really careful to steer pretty clear of this kind of thing
- The community should in general take repeated complaints of this kind of thing pretty seriously and not let it be brushed off with “but this person is good in X way”, because some fraction of the time this is the tip of an iceberg of manipulative/abusive/harassing behavior, and is the best chance you’ll get to catch it
- Even if you conclude it’s not part of a pattern of nefarious behavior, it’s still pretty costly to the community, and actions should be taken that provide high confidence it won’t continue happening