“My desires don’t match reality” or the inverse: “reality doesn’t match my desires.”
I don’t recall exactly where I picked this up; it feels vaguely inspired by Buddhist psychology, but maybe I picked it up in some Stoic readings somewhere. I really don’t remember.
This idea has helped me zoom out a little bit from situations that aren’t the way I want them, whether that is as big as having serious and painful medical issues or as quotidian as my dinner tasting bland. It can be applied to practically any situation in which I have the impulse to feel frustrated (or angry, or sad, or just about any other unenjoyable emotion). When I feel tempted to get worked up about something, I try to tell myself that all that is really happening is there a mismatch between these two things.
“My desires don’t match reality” or the inverse: “reality doesn’t match my desires.”
I don’t recall exactly where I picked this up; it feels vaguely inspired by Buddhist psychology, but maybe I picked it up in some Stoic readings somewhere. I really don’t remember.
This idea has helped me zoom out a little bit from situations that aren’t the way I want them, whether that is as big as having serious and painful medical issues or as quotidian as my dinner tasting bland. It can be applied to practically any situation in which I have the impulse to feel frustrated (or angry, or sad, or just about any other unenjoyable emotion). When I feel tempted to get worked up about something, I try to tell myself that all that is really happening is there a mismatch between these two things.
My partner gave me a Buddhist one once that changed my life: I am not the body, I am not even the mind.